Life changing

yeah..2 weeks ago i decided on something that would surely change my life forever...

I QUIT MY JOB ------- tomorrow's my last day

yeah.. shock right? well..actually i find that practicing is just not for me. i can blame it on anything etc etc etc. i like going to court etc but still,... something is missing. i dont feel happy. sometimes i feel like quitting my job and after months of deliberating... i've finally done it~! i QUIT huhuhuu.

and i immediately apply for TPM and im starting my Masters this January. HAHAHAHA..im happy as the due date for masters is like..ages ago in october i think. but the faculty was very helpful and made it very easy. i send in my application to the postgrad coordinator on monday..and in one week i.e the next monday on 28/12, i've already got my offer letter :)

basically the Masters program is just only 1 year and since Insyaallah if i get the TPM scholarship, i will be instanly diserap masuk menjadi lecturer and my salary will start at 4K plus plus... double what i am getting now at my current job.

alsooo...my allowence will be the same as im getting now as in 2K plus plus.. so.. basically i'll be back studying full time. no work, no tension, no being yelled by the boss n stress free (xcept mase finals)... MY KIND OF LIFE :)

basically i am happy with my decision...n i feel it in my heart that i've done the right thing n i followed my heart with the support of my lovely n supportive parents. my fiancee is also happy with my change of career path as the whole time i was working, i dont have time for myself and him that much. so... now i have more time to spend at home with my family n also spend time with my fiancee as we are both pursuing our Masters.. study same-same..heheh teman i g library law yg xada org kecuali on finals tu.. best best~!

soOoooo..thats the big life changing thing i've done during the long hiatus~!

also, if u guys notice, i've put a wedding ticker on the right side of the blog..yeah..i think some of my friends and fellow bloggers maybe will have the same wedding date as mine. erk~! but...its been decided by both side of the family and after much much muchhh deliberating, the date is set for early june next year :) for those whose sharing the same dates..i wish u all the happiness in the world..n pray for mine to..wah~!! 5 months 6 days~!! cepat..nak pk theme colour..theme colour... anyone have any ideas? gimme a shout ya?

love u guys~!!

again

are u allowed to not like ur work place? i feel like im just doing everything wrong here... sad la.. maybe practicing is just not for me. but wait, i havent started yet~! so..why do i have this sinking feeling on the pit of my stomach?

i dont know.. the partners here are not very friendly. yeah..and because of the u-know-what trajedy yg menimpa (tgk balik previous post), most of the conveyencing staff thinks im an absolute ............... so..here i am stuck with litigation which i am not complaining about. i like it..but..yeah..stil merangkak-rangkak dengan perlahan untuk belajar..

oh yeah..the other day,i was supposed to go to bagunan SUK in shah alam. it was raining hard and i only reached shah alam from puncak alam at about 9.15 a.m. it was raining hard plus minus cari parking..maybe dalam pukul 9.25-9.30 i arrived at the land office. so..the thing that im supposed to pick up is still not ready and the person im supposed to meet is in a meeting. i waited for about 20mins and finally the counter guy ask me to come later.so i left my phone number there and remind him profusely to give me a call the minute the document is ready.

so..before going back to the office, i stop by CIMB sek 9 to sign loan documents with my mom.. and then i drove to the office. at that time its already around 11 am.. yeah.. i was late. i feel bad. so..today the partner questioned me where i was and she said why did i go to shah alam when she already went at 8? WTF la kan...she xpect me to go to the land office by 8~! yeah yeah..sepatutnye pekerja contoh but stil...office starts at 9..so dont xpect me to be there at 8 etc.im from puncak alam mind u~!

so..she made me feel bad and questioned me in front of all the clerks. she said..u xdpt settle 1 thing and ive settle 4 things that morning etc etc etc..lain kali cakap dulu nak buat banking personal and all.. so yeah,i admit it. i was wrong and i suck at doing all this. bagoos la..just what i need for my self asteem ie career wise. so...what do i do now?

bottom line is..again..i think i am not cut out for this. maybe while ur reading this u will think to urselves..i was wrong. yeah..basically i admit that i was wrong... so cne ni? i feel bad? what do i do?

boleh x xnak keje n duduk rumah je? heeeeEeeee.. that is my dream come true~!

cute :)

hey..

no mood to write these past weeks..things happened and malas dah nak talk about it.should be more careful on what i write. i am considering of just deleting this blog.BUT...im not going into the details of why etc etc.

anywayyy...on a happier note.. we have started to plan for the wedding :)

well, personally for me..i dont want anything extravagant. something simple and nice is fine by me. and i think my parents both agree and on the same level with me when they are also planning it to be simple and easy. nothing extravagant and over the top. i think..maybe that is why me, mom n ayah and all my siblings are'nt fretting over this n that. we are planning slowly n surely huhuu.

i have started browsing through vendors that i want for the wedding. as no final decision is made yet...im open to all options. whether to marry at home or dewan..it can be either way now.. :)

and the other day i asked my fiance to make a list of what needs to be done on his side. and sgt cute...he made a cute lil list and he even printed it out~! ssOOOoo cute OK~! and even though he has his own list..he wants to look at mine and tiru it~! sabar je la.. but men will be men kan? they always depend on us for the details because he honestly have no sligtest idea on what needs to be on the list.all he knows that he's gonna have to find the money..and after that is settled...only then come the details. huhuh..true~! but not to us women~! we need a plan..a schedule etc etc so we can know the progress etc etc. see how different we are?

so..yeah..we're planning.. and i hope everything will go smoothly ...amin :)

i LOVE my parents~!

check in later

SICK

i am very sick...penat..pening..asyik bersin je..i wanna go home.. :(

Happy Raya Aidiladha.. :)

of...?

today ive been all around town ic shah alam n KL n sunway..n i am now officially dead TIREd OkkKKkkk..

so many things are happening in my life..so many things is backfiring on me. but im still taking it one day at a time. pray that i wont break..some are just too personal to write down n some matters are just a waste of time to think or write about here.but..bottomline is..everything is backfiring.i think im having one of those bad luck month kot? huhuhu

oo yeah, the previous post terpaksa delete sbb kang jd WWII plak.so..better delete it than bagi all the world to know whats happening.comment2 yg x bernas sume kena delete...kan ke blog ni public..haihhh. so..sorry guys, kene delete the post :P

of this and THAT :P

hey guys..

ive nothing to update actually.right now im just hangging around the office during lunch break and browsing thru bride to be blogs and look at all of the preparation etc etc.

truthfully...i dont have a wedding date yet which is...hm..i dunno what to say. cant me n F just pick a date? i mean we want an aim..we want something to look forward to. next year is like..theres 12 months in a year.so..i really really hope n pray that i will get a date soon :(

i havent start planning on anything yet..i read all the bride to be blogs that have their own checklist n all..but i have nothing.i dont have a list...hm..i want to be at least in control n know what my wedding would be like instead of just letting all the other people do it for me..cam x best plak kan? i want to take part in the planning too...

so yeah..just a stupid afternoon ramblings..hm..

lowest point

yeah..yesterday was one of the lowest point in my life. the day before, i was shouted aka kene maki ngan my boss who is a senior assoc here. i was assisting her doing conveyencing...i sucked at it but i tried really hard. i promise to u guys that i did the very best that i can...but since i have zero zilch knowledge (apart from LLB dulu) on convey...a lot of things i dont know. and the boss is very demanding by bombarding me with files every day where i would do and finish n redo if there is a mistake. how would i know land office x terima date yg di cop? i asked..they just say put date.so..yeah..the procedural thing la basically i dont know...but i was learning..so gimme a break n gimme some time to get use to it...its only been just 3 weeks..dont expect me to have everything on the tip of my hands..

but surely, i am very dissapointed in myself...am i that sort of worker? does my work really suck? really? i am really dissapointed in myself and i feel so helpless and useless... :( n very sad..

after being scold by the boss...the partner then 'sound' me by saying that she cannot take very simple and petty mistakes from me.."as a lawyer..bla bla bla..." yup..i know and i will try harder. but it seems like everything i do would just go wrong these days..:( im very unhappy with my career.i dont know where i stand and i dont know how the partners look at me. incompetent? sloopy? a person who makes idiotic mistakes? my image had been badly damaged..the bos shouted at me in front of all the clerks..i was tougue tied..the thing that i did was...salah cop date. it became a big issue bla bla bla...

so..yesterday, the boss ask me to return all her files and i am not going to do any more conveyancing work from now on..sad huh? i am fully doing litigation now.even though i did'nt want to do conveyancing in the first place...i took it as a challenge and a way to gain knowledge as i dont know much about convey..but i totally backfired on me :(

to make matters worse, there is something wrong with my car and the warranty period expires in 2 days and nobody wants to help me to send the car to the service centre.. as i have work n office hours end at 6 plus im a bit tight on the financial side..so i cannot just take a taxi from shah alam to suway to n fro..i actually cried and feel so alone and helpless... after a really bad day at work..my car pulak buat problem.. i cried n cried to let go of my frustrations :(

soo...today i am doing my litigation work..the bos is giving me the cold shoulder by not speaking to me.. the staffs here told me that its a good thing that i stop doing convey as i would surely be so stress as they are feeling now...so..i dont know are they telling me this to make me feel better or just to tell me gently that my work sucked?

also, i got a call from the bar council telling me that i have to file an affidavit pembetulan as there is a spelling mistake in my affidavit...so..can it not get more worse than that?

that is why i am at my lowest point right now...i feel like quitting but i am not a quitter..but the atmosphere..the image as a lawyer have somehow been "tercalar" and i just cant get over it la. its like a silly mistake was taken so seriously that somehow it straight away categorize me as a bad lawyer or bad worker. its not fair...

i have 3 papers this saturday n sunday..not looking forward to that. i hope next week will be better..i want all this sadness and negativity out of me..

pray for me guys..

My Engagement Day

me with FMIL :)

it was the week before that i suddenly got the news that hey..im getting engaged next week. it started with his dad calling my dad asking "why dont these two get engaged terus instead of going to and fro from kelantan to puncak alam for merisik n engagement?" my dad obviously said YES because he absolutely agreed with my FFIL.. so here we go...the hecticness begins.

my family prepared for the merisik 2 weeks before by doing a huge scale spring cleaning where we literally turn the house inside out in order to clean every dust n dirty spots that exist in our house. it took two days...from morning until 4 am on saturday n sunday...n went on until the day of the engagement.my mom actually took the whole week off from work on the week of my engagement.everyday, mom n dad would go out to town to run errands for my engagement while i am stuck at the office. for those of you yang wondering whyYyyyy i am stuck at the office? so happens on monday before my engagement, ive just started working at the new office..so i just cant get away. but everyday, i would be with Fadhliy or mom or anybody to look into things. i was in charge of finding doorgifts..so since im stuck at the office, all i can do is surf the net looking for something cheap and cute for the engagement.

soo..i found this site www.ole-olemanis.blogspot.com that sells cute and nice doorgifts for any occasions. and i called them to place an order on tuesday..so do the math la. i want it by thursday evening..and they are wiiling to work against the clock for me..thanks guys :)

i wanted to apply for leave on friday, but was told by the partners that it is a very bad habit for me to skip work when i have been there barely a week..so i decided against taking leave :( so...i was working on the friday. but at 5.30 sharp, i shoot off home to find that most of my cousins were already there..buzy doing this and that as the night before the engagement, my dad wants to do a solat hajat for tomorrow's event.

after the solat Hajat..everyone came into action. my aunties open their poket doremon hehehe and wip up my hantaran in only about..hm..2 hours? gile teror and it turn out great n beautiful n i love it so much. the choise of colour, turqoise which i insist on turn out beautifully and i love and heart every single thing to the core ok~!!

not forgetting for those yg sponser dulangs..i mean cik awi for the shirts, cik ja for all the accessories for the hantaran. cik ngoh for her beautiful baskets to put the door gifts, abe Di for the men's toiletries, aunty yam for the delicious yummy yummy mango delight secret recipe cake [which he finish the whole cake the same night~!] hani, kak lina, kak lin and all of those yg tak tdo buat my impromptu mini pelamin. it turn out very cute even though kene improvise with everything yang ada dalam umah :)

the next day, early in the morning me n hani rushed to klang to do my make up which is done for free courtesy of kak G who is nice enough to let her staff doll me up using all the free stuffs in her boutiqe hehehe seriously..everybody pitched in~!

well, here are some of the pictures for u guys to enjoy :) penat la nak tulis..panjanggggg..nanti la.if i have the time and idea i will tell u guys the full story moory k?

thanks to each and everybody that helped, who came and who prayed for me and fadhliy. i love u all and only Allah can repay all that u've done.. wish us all the best :)

now...plan for WEDDING...haaa.... :)

the rings..his was bought in Mecca by my mom n dad when they went for Umrah

when they first arrive

ayah n FFIL

the lovely canopy..lawa sgt~!

me..decending the stairs while my aunti whispers.. "Lili, jalan slow2 skit"

ayah sarungkan cincin


the house from outside view..cantik kan? cam garden party

me..with my heart and soul. dont they look cute together?

my LOVE is....

YOUR LOVE IS GREEN

When you love someone, it's a very rational process. You love with your head first.
Love is all about fitting a person into your life. You can't love unless the situation is just right.

You are an ideal partner in romantic relationships. You try to be as caring, loyal, and forgiving as possible.
You take love seriously, and you don't give up on a commitment. You don't need a ring to stay with someone through thick and thin.

i love u syg~!

DElay and UPGRADE~!

today is my second day at the new office. everything is ok..i am so happy here.i mean, the partners n associates trust my work and i am able to work independently and at my own time :) so far so good..i hope i do well here and hope to build a career and future here :) amin..

i am still on probation and my letter of appointment is still not yet ready..so how eh? maybe tomorrow i will find the answers i am seeking.. but i hope and pray everything will be fine :)

STILL... i havent file my long call papers yet. i have a problem with my referee form n confidential report :( so..maybe only next week i can file my papers :( why la the long delayyyyyy..tensi tensi..but anyhows...i hope i can get a date let say 20th november? plz plz i hope and pray to Allah that i can file my papers by monday next week. if x pon by tuesday..hm..hope so :)

so..the GRAND ANNOUNCEMENT ----> i am getting ENGAGED this saturday~!!

yup..yup..its suppose to be just merisik, but then on friday last week, my merisik has been upgraded to engagement..so..apart from the hecticness of new office, i have to plan the sudden engagement. sian my mom n dad..okla..my whole family, they are truly my heart n soul. i am so thankful that they are willing to do everything in their power to make my engagement a successful event :) (suddenly im getting teary eyed~!!) we clean the house aka spring clean and emptied the lower floor (YES~! literally empty) mop sapu etc etc...

x stop berkemas sampai pukul 3 pagi. the whole family pitched in and do their part. i love them sooo much~! from ayah, azrai n nim (eventhough my cute lil baby sister tgh PMR) who started the cleaning around 12 on saturday, i was out buying engagement things with mom and we got back around 6pm..ate ala kadar ie: pasar malam hehehe and terus start kemas balik until about 4 a.m...non stop... i love love love them~! mama yang penat pusing KL dengan i cari barang2 pon terus balik kemas. my big sist who just got back from a 3 day competition also jump in and helped the moment she got home. this is what i call family love..they berpenat lelah just for me.. :)

words just cant do justice of how thankful n how i love my family :) syukur alhamdulillah.. :)

so..my big day is saturday... i know ramai yg buat majlis haritu so i didnt invite a lot of people as i would give priority to friends that are getting married on the same day :) so..wish me luck k guys?

hope everything will turn out ok n great..amin :)

wish me luck~! i will post the pics later..next week maybe when i tukar my status from single to engaged~!! hehehe i love u syg~!

check in later :)

1 day to go... tick tock tick tock..

fuhh..cant believe when i look at my ticker aka countdown this morning..i shows that i only have 1 day to go before chambering ends~!! hahahhaa..i cant believe im here..at this very moment..the moment i have been waiting n counting for almost 9 months..the days when i am so angry that i feel like i want to explode, the days that i am so frustrated, days when i feel so mentally n physically tired..the days when i have to stay back at the office from morning until 3 a.m in the morning..all the days when i would look at the countdown at my blog n count..how many days to go till i finish chambering? THE day is TOMORROW. all i can think is "WOW" i got through this..i cant believe it.. :) i thought LLB was hard with the demanding course works,..but chambering is hard n stinks n it sucks much much more than LLB. when ur in LLB u got friends that would crack funny jokes n we would have fun sing-a-longs, crazee photo sessions etc etc etc. chambering?? what is there to entertain u? only lunch hour where u get a break from ur work station n the internet when u curi-curi main facebook to post stupid comments on ur frens page..or if ur lucky, ur fren is online and u can chat wit them and tell them how u are suffering n chambering sucks big time. been there n done that~!

so..tomorrow's going to be my last day here at this office. from my last post, u guys would have know that i've got another job and im starting right away.YEP...no cuti-cuti malaysia or a break before starting work.jeles gile ngan all of u out there that get some time off before starting work~!! hehehe..xpela..i will enjoy ur pictures je la k? since the firm im going to wants me to start right away..i have to oblige..i need the money anyways.. :) so..im starting at the new office on friday :) wish me luck u guys and pray that the place that im going is better and hope that i find what i truly want and which branch of law that i really want to pursue there.. Amin..

i pray that everything will go smoothly..Amin..pray for me k?

next topic..as some of my close frens would know, next week would be a start of a new chapter in my life but i would not disclose anything yet as no conformation is given. but..i will blog on it once i know the details n maybe put another countdown to replace the chambering ticker. can ahhh? hehehhe

and..this guy..i really really love him. no words can do justice of how much i care, love and adore him.. never would i imagine that we've come this far...he is my life :) i reallly really love him (enough said ya?) anyways..he knows how i feel...eventho i always scold him. but i only scold him because he always tease me~!! but..i know he loves me because it obvious,when he stare at me i know he cares for me, and when he looks at me..his brown eyes tell his soul.. love u syg~!

The VERY first picture of us together (yes..i've gain a lot of weight since then ..i KNOW hehehhe)

oh yeah, talking about the weight thingy..im on herbalife..im just closing to one week. i feel energetic n i can fit into my old clothes now..so..im very confortable n im hoping to lost at least 20-25kgs by end of this year or by march next year.. so..insyaAllah...

i love u syg~!

check in later :)

hiatus :P

wahhhh...so much has happened~! its been a month from my last post :) miss me? hehehe. puasa has come n gone n raya is also tggl saki baki je. nothing much to update on the festivities. just that the last 2 weeks of raya, both my mom n dad went for their umrah..sedih..sayu n segala-galanya.but im glad that both are happy n dapat menjalankan ibadah tanpa apa-apa kesusahan.. :)
1st raya was spend chilling n eating at home. nobody came..hehe n mmg best n rilex~! we decided not to go anywhere since mom n dad just got back from umrah n they need to betulkan biological clock dorg hehehe jet leg la katekan. so..raya this year tema dia adalah chill n cool :)

oh yeah..from the last post u guys would know that i went for an interview n i was awful~! but...jeng jeng jenggg.. I GOT THE JOB~! soo...this FRIDAY..yep, chambering ends in 3 DAYS 3 DAYS 3 DAYS 3 DAYS~!! (i can go on all day..hehhee) im starting my first day of work. when i told my master about leaving..he was really sad n he said that he has become very fond of me etc etc..but..eventho we had a touching moment yada yada yada... i cant wait to start some place new.. i hope everything will turn out ok n great :)

so..i need to make an announcement -------> something is happening on the 17th~! will update u guys on it laterrrr.. :)

bye!

bad day.. AGAIN and its only 10.30 a.m

yeah..been having a lot of those lately..or this year.hm..just got back from an interview at bandar sunway.it went well..but i know that the lawyer who interviewed me was not very keen when he heard that i've never been to court on my own. YUP....NEVER been to COURT on my own. stupid kan? yup..i mean, i think i have the confidence and all..but my M have yet given me any opportunity to handle cases on my own. ala..at least hantar i g amik date baru ke JID ke etc..ok la jugak kan? ni never..

so..im feeling a bit down right now because i know i can do it. and i know if i go to other interviews i will get the same feedback.. "hah..u x pernah langsung g court? SAR? MAGISTRATE?" the answer in "No..NOPE..NOOOO".

yeah..so thats about it.my not so bright future. i wonder why i choose this shitty place to chamber in the first place...

owh..yeah, on my way out of bandar sunway, a car knocked my car~! wut could be worse kan? i was nearly in tears because i feel so down n worthless n now my car was hit from behind by a vios. but thankfully..nothing is kemek or wat..but still..

the conclusion that i can say about this morning is that : It does'nt matter how hard u study in the University or get good grades, being in the DEan's List or yada yada..the important part in being a lawyer is ur chambering period. it teaches u and gives u experience. soo...choose wisely la tempat chamber.thats all i can say :(

so..we'll see what the rest of the day have in store for me..yup..we'll see...

Looking at my not so bright future - Lili

Head ache + Heart ache

urghh..which one do u prefer?well..im sorta kinda feeling both of it right now. yesterday i again send out applications for LA in various legal firms. im afraid because nothing..no response so far. im afraid that there's no one out there is going to offer me a job. boleh x pikir camtu? well..my plan was right after final call, i will start a new job, some place new...but, at the rate im going...cam not going to happen je.. well, that xplains the heart ache.

head ache? so many work to do..2 affidavits in support and another 2 affidavits in reply just arrived late yesterday evening. The M wants a draft my next week, have to also attend a meeting next week to clarify facts with clients. hm..the workload ok la, i can do it. But the "bincang part" ughh~!! it will certainly take hours...n hours..n hours...looking at him amending the affidavit.sOoooo not looking forward to that.. but he promised to stop early everyday since its ramadhan.sooo..we'll see how that goes huh?

but..anyway, my mom was suspected H1N1 last monday and i almost had a heart attack. i mean not literally la..but when i got the news, i suddenly feel that my lungs is squzeed.i cannot breathe...i was really really worried. but..yesterday, the test came out negative. so alhamdulillah...i love u mama~!

nothing else to update.. maybe later ya?

check in later :) have a great weekend..
Happy Ramadhan everyone~!

doin it myself~!

well..after feeling down for a couple of days, i manage to push myself up a lil' bit :) yeah..i admit that it is expansive(the herbal life thinggy) yeah..when i think long and hard, its way to expensive to let another person be responsible ie: using my mom's credit card to buy it..so i conclude that when i start working, i will buy it using my own credit card~! heehee so fret not u guys~! hehe plus im chambering n i am so going to find another place to work. so..xtau lg my future cne.. afraid that i xdpt cari keje ke..(wah scary~!)

and yeah..in a way tkah (tq tkah..u made my day) is right. im a bit tired wif my life ie: stupid chambering. so..wanna start anew, fresh and someplace better i hope. so..still praying n praying..to find someplace good n pays better :) wish me luck

so..after the failure of herbalife (:P) my mom refer me to a doctor n he gave me something to reduce weight apart from me excercising. so..i hope to shed pounds within this 4 months..

so..been excercising n reducing my kalori intake. wish me luck~!

hm..the finding a job part..still no success..so..cant talk much about that.

current weight : 78kg (ughhh) ----> aiming my weight 3 years ago : 55 kg

can i do it? ok..i keep u updated k?

so..off to work~! hehehe check in later :)

i love u syg~!

Down in the dumps

if u have been reading my blog, u would realize that in my last post, i talk about losing weight to look good for December blah blah blah.

yeah..i went to see an instructor for Herbalife and tried their shakes and it taste good.after listening to the coach i realize that hey..maybe i should try. the coach gave me a full body scan and i got the shock f my life. my inner fat level is very high.i have so much fat in my organs that anytime i could get cancer or heart attack. so..now its not about losing weight anymore. its for my health..its for my life. i dont want to get sick when i reached 30. i dont want to get cancer when i turn 35. i dont want to suffer menapouse early because i have so much inner fat. i want to take care of myself. u see...i am not at all embaress to share this information to the world because i know all this while i've been living in denial. i dont believe that i am THAT overweight.hey..people can be skinny but still they get heart problems and diebetes..its our body. if our body is not healthy..it does'nt matter if you are skinny or fat, u will still get sick.

i have a problem convincing my mom to use her credit card first and i will pay her everymonth..she believes that there will be interest etc. hm..i dont know. i dont know what to think..what to say..i dont know.

im scared of whats happening to my body..ive been feeling down since yesterday because yeah..i admit it. I AM SICK. i have to do something NOW. but i need a little help... Ya Allah..show me the way.its not about losing weight now.its now about being HEALTHY.. please...

cant wait :)

well..theres two reasons why i named this post "cant wait".

1. i want to lose weight

i have a big day this coming December and i want to look my best. i don't want to look frumpy and fat and awful.i want to be stunning and i want to have the ability to choose whatever i want to wear without worrying about the size and all...so.. i decided to do something. all this while I've been trying to cut down my food intake etc..but i FAILED miserably :(. but fret not everyone~! I'm calling in professional help and tomorrow i have an appointment with that person. i will tell u all about it in a few days after i get the answers. believe it or not..i think i am at my heaviest now, and its been a long time since i weight myself. so..tomorrow..well, I'm preparing for the worst tomorrow ie: being at my heaviest. but..I'm turning it all around and hope, come December i at least shed a few pounds and look good for the "thing" on December hehehe. so my Dear Lovely Readers, I'm asking for your support and lets pray that i can do this :) amin..

the sweet thing is.. Mr F never complains that I'm fat or whatever. he gets worried if i don't eat..when I'm on my crazy diet mood..i x eat much and he gets worried.hehehe gile sweet la Mr. F tu~! but..what I'm doing now is for myself and also for my future. i don't want to get caught up with a disease or having to go trough early menopause because of my weight. so..I'm stopping myself and i have to also stop living in denial.i look really fat in photos etc..so, Allah..give me strengh :)

2. December

i cant wait for december to come..long way to go but still cant wait~! by then i hope that i have a comfy job ie: that pays resonably and not hisap darah org~! lose weight and taking a big step in my life. i've actually been waiting for it for a long time now..and i still cant believe its happening. i hope everything will go smoothly. i look at my friends pictures of their big day..i get jelouse and xcited as i cant wait for mine. i cant image what mine would look like because theres no planning yet..but surely..after raya..it will be confirmed :) so..folks, just wait for the announcement :)

so.. jom BUAT KERJA :P

check in later n wish me luck~!

weekend galoreEeee

yeah..sounds like a did a whole lot of things kan? well..actually i must say that i had the GREATEST weekend ever~! apart from attending classes on saturday which ended early (yeayness!) i went to do a bit of window shopping with Mr F at Jusco and end up buying a blouse which is just rm25..cheap kan? i wanted to buy more..BUT..i need to save la..for december. at the rate im going..i hope i can at least save a few hundred. hm..i hope i can...

anyway.. on sunday i spend the whole day with Mr. F. we went to kg johan setia(which is jauh in the depts of klang) hehehe but we manage to find it and it was super duper HOT~!!! we arrived around 2 and the theme of the wedding is black and white. a bit dull..but ok la.very very simple...then, we decided to stop by Mr F's uncle house which is like just across the road..and end up spending the whole afternoon there. well.. it was ok..apart from me sneezing my head of f and having stomach cramps due to (dot..dot..dot).. i enjoyed it. i wish i could have been more talkative or something. but..well, its my first time and i hope i do better next time. Mr.F was really at home..siap tukar pakai kain pelekat lagi~! sabar je la! hehehe

his niece was very naughty and she was just running around in her underwear the whole time i was there...hehehe panas kot? and she was splashing in the pool and at one point she was trying to release her pet hamster for me to look at..i nearly had a heart attack~!!! i quickly told her that..its ok, i can see the hamster while its still in the cage.hehehe panic moment!

his big bro cooked for us..but i was already full and feeling really uncomfortable as i was really sneezing non-stop.after eating the meal his bro prepared, we went home. i was literally exaustead..so i called up alia and ask her to follow me home as i dont think i can drive anymore.. i was really tired~! i slept all the way home. TQ alia the lifesaver~!

well...thats all i guess. it was'nt much..but i like my weekend..not looking forward to next weekend ugh~! saturday i have full classes..n maybe a replacement class on sunday..aiyo malas malas..cepat la kau habis DLSA..i want my Weekends BACK~!!

ok.. check in later :) i love u sayang~!

clock is ticking

YEAYYYYYYYyy~!!!

i've passed my ethics exam. but i was scolded by the BC people because i wrote the wrong petition number. Ya Allah, serious teruk aku ni. i remembered i was a little confused whether its 69 or 65. so...i wrote 69 n lalalalala..buat exam. and the penalty of wrong petition number is you FAIL the paper. i am sooOoooo stupid. bleh x i x check pon my num. soooooOOooo..i got scolded by the BC people. n i appologize profusely.sorry..sorry...im so sorry for the inconvinience i caused. siap org BC tu ckp dia kene investigate ala CSI...tgk handwritting, bukak my personal file blablablaa..

the thing is..number 69 came up twice.and sape yg 69 tu fail the ethics paper.so..i was sweating la...and after long and hard investgation...i PASSED yeayyyyyyyy..so..x kesah la kene sound ngan org BC pown. TQ BC for not failing me bcoz i wrote the wrong petition num~! ahahahahah boleh x?~!!! i am sooOooooo clumsy :P

owh yeah.. i got to know my good friend got engaged over the weekend! im happy for her..a bit terase she did'nt tell me she was getting engaged. i mean i know she's getting engaged but i dont really know the exact date. but...im happy for her. i hope that she'll be happy and get married and have children n enjoy living abroad...wahhhh best~! she's a really good fren and i wish her well... :)

my cousin also got engage on the same day as my fren..it was a simple ceremony.its nice to get the see the big family again :) congrats angah~!!

on sunday i spend the whole day helping my mom to hunt for her umrah things, settle the laundry,cook(as both of my little sisters are bz with work), wash dishes,basuh toilet,set table blablablabla...bole katekan i did a lot~! i sometimes wonder...when u are at home. xkan xterpk langsung nak tolong? ntah...xkan x terpk? ntah..series cam rase like bursting n marah~!!kalau setakat masak je watpe? tlg la kemas ke..sidai baju ke..lipat baju ke..org lain pon penat jugak. but..at the end of the day..i feel puas because i get to help my family.anggap je la ibadah.org lain xnak buat xpe..biar la this subject is taboo or whatever.wake up~!

so..i guess whatever la kan.

mama n ayah i love u~!!

check in later :)

good enough?

am i? my palms are sweaty, suddenly my head hurts and i have trouble breathing and i have this sudden urge to sheeshee(pee la). i cant tell anything yet..i mean im putting the finishing touch on my CV n covering letter. i am soooo not sure whether it is good enough~!! CNE NI?

i hope its good enough..Ya Allah, gv me strength n power n confidence to get through this.. amin

NEXT: scan my sijil ie LLB, Degree n result DLSA :)

Sleep Sleep SleEEeeePyyyy

this is like my 100th time yawning..my eyes are watery..i think my jaw is dislocated since ive been yawning widely(teruk kan? hehe) i am SO SLeeepyY!~~

um..i think i went to bed early enough, around 11.30, but why am i sleepy? the answer is.. = i am doing research right now. and i cant find the case :( soOoooo..im bored browsing through hundreds of cases. plus, im fasting today...so i guess its connected to my sleepyness *YaWnnNn*

and i am dreading that any time now my M would call me into his office, and i would spend days with him in there non-stop looking at witness statements..over n over n over again..amending..amending n amending..non stop. he asked me to be ready to stay back very late (yeah..remember the last time was 3 a.m?) soo...im NOT looking forward to that.

ok..my ideal way of doing work is.. :-
1. u assign me the work
2. i do it in my own time subject to ur due date and when u want it
3. i hand it to you before the due date
4. you look through and comment n ask me to make amendments
5. i make the amendments
6. we review it together
7. file it n proceed with other work

is'nt that how its suppose to be? instead of me wasting my time preparing a draft where in the end M would recast everything like its the same as if he had done it from scratch. so whats the point in doing drafts?? I HAVE NO IDEA~!!

rather than wasting my time..gimme a chance to learn something and not everything must HAVE to be your way. boleh x? SICK la..seriously.and i am not someone who is paid to "teman" u to do work. u do urs, i do mine. u dont need me in there watching u amending. its boring, its wasting time i feel like precious time is slipping away while i can do other useful things.

and normal people dont work until early hours of the morning. i dont mind staying back..but only up to a certain time. u must consider other people have lives n families n love. everything does not revolves around work. so..i dont mind staying..but only up to 9-10 o clock. later than that.. NO.its not NATURAL. its against human rights!!!! i mean..yeah, there is work to be done...but nothing is soooo important that u cant wait until tomorrow. its effecting the families of the staffs, their relationship with their husbands..cant u see that? its not RIGHT. ITS WRONG! plan ur work and dont wait for the last minute and meddle on other stuff. get to it~!! dont let ur own mistakes tie down the others. its not FAIR~!

ok..this is me when i am frustrated.. so bare with me

i love u sayang~!(this sentence has nothing to do with this post :) )

check in later :P

i wish..

as everybody hm..ok la..as some people know, i LOVE the colour purple. so...for my wedding, i want plum n lavender theme. it looks lovely lovely.simple but beautiful. can i have it syg~!??? so i want to wear songket? i dont know. its not happening tomorrow.hm..but i sure do need my mom n my sisters n cousins to give me their views and stuff :)


on ur side..maybe this colour? can ah? i remember i saw a baju Melayu in PKNS with the exact shade and i instantly thought..hey, Mr F would look so dreamy in this..so u like? well, i do like it a LOT~!! if i dont get this colour for his side of the reception..i settle by using this colour for my engagement :) can do? hehehhe

while waiting for THAT day to come...let me just dream ok? :)

check in later ~~~~ ;)

one week

well..ethics exam dah buat..n i know ive lost at least 5 marks on the adjournment submission part...aiya~!! n Mr. M siap nak discuss about the mistake. ok..for starters, i have no zilch ZERO court exposure. the only time i go to court is in my early chambering, and that is to jumpe Mr murali about my papers n June aritu when Mr M had a hearing in KB HC. um..n i asked Pn J about posponement,MOB, Stand down n JID..yg kluar adjourment pulakkkkk..aduhhhh..stress. i hope i pass...i hope i pass...it would be such a drag to fail.aiyo..plz..dont let me fail. i am finishing in less than 3 months.malas nak g amik lagi~!!

after the ethics exam..went to the lunch..mingled n talk to ad yang baru a few weeks pregnant.wah..happynyeee..happy la dengar org pregnant ni.n she lost weight la..her morning sickness is really bad.but..surely she is happy kan?dapat rezeki drpd Allah...congrats to her n enjoy the nine months to motherhood. for me, mortherhood is so close to my heart.maybe because i love babies? yeha..maybe..ok, next TOPIC plz.heheh nanti get carried away kang susah :P

later that afternoon..go n watch Harry Potter n the Half Blood Prince. yep..cried again watching harry potter.love the movie its soooooo great~!!

on saturday..classess from 8am - 9pm. yep...gile penat..n i tido on and off mase clasess.lapar n everything in between.hehehe TQ Mr F sbb tlg printkan my assignment n belikan nasi lemak as i was hungry like hell~!! tq..he was in so much pain(sakit gigi ultra).. but he helped anyways..baik kan? baikkann??

on sunday..had a second dose of harry potter, but this time with the familiewwww..heheh enjoyed it even tho baru je tgk.(told u i LOVE harry potter) :)

yeah..im rambling..x ade tujuan sebnarnye update ni.just bits n pieces of what ive been doing the past week..so..now to update resume n contact **** fast~! hope dptttt ... amin~!

check in later ~!

it started :)

yeap..it have already started baby~!

im starting to look around..asking people about prospective dot dot dot .... cannot say here lah. i think someone who is not suppose to read my blog is reading it. so.. ShhhHHhhh...for those who knows...knows la

i mean, is it wrong to find better places that really really challenge u instead of draining u every day.makes u feel useless..no exposure. yeah..maybe this is what Allah plans for me now..so that i will in the future get a kick ass tootttttt better that what i have now. hehehehe..ala..bukan susah nak read between the lines.

like my fren sorg ni..she's been chambering all this while n tggl like 3 months to go before dia final call.she quits chambering n masuk judiciary. and i admire that. she knows what she wants and she worked for it.even though she has to go through chambering for a while..she did it to build up her confidence. so now..she there.where she always wanted to be..n im really proud of her :) good luck zue~!!

me? i havent really decided what i want yet...i mean i plan to be an all rounder but i feel very hm..what can u say huh? like..im not using fully my skills n knowledge la.just doing lame things like research bla bla.. not that into doing research la actually..hm.. i dont know what i want to do yet.which part of the law i want to venture into. i find family law both civil n islamic to be very interesting..n i like civil litigation even tho it involves a lot of work... hm..corporate? ok la..because its more into contract n company law..which is ok.so..i dont know yet. i hope..in the new place (which i dont know where YET) i will get to explore and actually find what im really interested in doing and what i am really good at.. :) Amin..

so..the journey begins..as u kan see the ticker..a little more than 2 months im gonna finish chambering..so..better start now rather than menyesal later. so..any of u guys reading..gimme some pointers can ah? nice places? puhlezzzzzz..tq tq

check in later :)

Wedding Bells

Hahahaha caught ur attention didnt i?

not wedding bells for me..but for my frens.WOW~!!! so many are getting married.. cant name them here as no official invitation yet..huhu

but..really happy for all of them.many are getting engaged this year (i hope mine will be this year too..amin) some are getting ready going to jakarta n all. to u guys..when its my turn, gimme pointers on where is the loveliest and cheapest or i can get a bargain of in Bandung or Jakarta.huhuhu~!

but hey..its at this time of our lives where all our frens are getting married and settling down, makes me very happy.cause some couples, i see them going strong each year and finally getting married.. lovely la..

so..im also getting x sabar for mine which..not sure when lagi huhuhu..

But, congrats to all of u yg getting engaged this August (my causin esp), September, October and so on...and getting married this December..i hope that i get to share ur wonderful day with u.happy for u guys :) Pray for mine ~!!

I admit it

ok..i admit it. my heart is not into chambering..i hate chambering to the core and it has definitely effected my work performance, my perspective, my willingness to learn and altogether my spirit..

how could i have let this feeling get a hold of me? i am GUILTY for letting my laziness conquer me and my life. i dont want to bend the rules. i want it straight forward where u dont have a choice but to stay and do work. get it? i hate last minute work but i should have bared it as i am only a chambering student and be prepared to work long hours because it is expected of me..man~!!

what trigger it? the past months i have been ssssoooooo lazy to work.lazy lazy everyday..and today, due to my laziness, i overlooked an audit report that is supposed to be done since APRIL. get it? i've been delaying for more than 3 months. im so bad~! how could i let this happen. when questioned about it i just say..yeah i overlooked it. and the M was not very happy but i am thankful that i was not "marah" by him. he even put the blame on himself. and i thank my lucky stars that the matter is settle out of court and there is no need for a report..im thankful that Allah gave me a chance to redeem myself.

ok..im making a promise to myself that starting from now..be up to date on my work and no more lazinesss..but my heart back into it. another 3 month..ok?

Lili..have strengh..amin

...

no words can describe the way i feel now..

frustrated..angry and every other emotions that goes with it.

how can some people think so shallow and aim so low? dont they want to excel and achieve in life? dont they have goals? at this rate..i dont think anything will happen come end of this year. nothing..zilch~! i dont expect anything to happen though.

its just so stupid. i am brought up in a family where reasons given must be worth it. and not just for the sake of giving reasons. u understand me? for example, u failed ur biology exams. and u just keep failing month after month..and at one point, u said to ur parents that u just cannot do biology anymore. u tried but failed. so..what my parents would say? u can give a million reasons. but u must remember that at the end of the day..its ur life and its ur future.all of it is in ur hands. i scold u because i love u. but if u give up now..its not me who will regret it in the future..its ur life and YOU will regret it.

i always get lectures like that and i realise that YES, what my parents said is true. i mean that i studied all these years is not for my parents. its for me..for my future. the parents only can guide and scold us when we dont get good grades.but at the end of the day..its our life that is effected.ok..i get a D in physics, its my track record is effected..not my mom or dad's. make sense huh?

so..i cannot terima at all when someone just settle for less. yeah..thats Malay thinking. how can u settle for less when u are worth more than that? why take a salary for SPM leavers when u are a degree holder? why?? i just cant digest that.seriously..how can u undermind your own self? HOW?

u must know that ur worth at least something right? and they start looking at me like all i care about is money. a certain extend YES. but there are a millian other reasons why i push for it. i want it for u because u have debts needed to be paid, u need to help ur parents, u want to get a licence, u want to buy a transport, u have to buy food everyday? see? is it not worth it to go for a job that is for u? for ur qualification? is that so hard to see? u have books to buy, assignments to pay for..everything is money.cant u see that? cant u?

why am i the bad guy here? are u so thick headed to not have realized that? why am i thinking all the things that needed to be done with that amount of money? WHY?

and u try to turn the whole problem to me? who is the one that is BROKE? who? is it me? i want u to face reality and ask yourself. u want it or not? if u want it, work for it. not just sit and look while others go ahead of u. if u want something, fight for it, and not just let it go and settle for less. i u want something, u have to be ready to SACRIFICE for it..so that when u have given all u got u know that at the end of the day its worth it. if some people just dont see why i am sad and frustrated because i know u are BETTER than that. u can do MUCH better and can aim higher if u set your mind up to it. dont make a half hearted attempt..if ur attempt is half hearted.. JUST LEAVE IT. no point in trying because u will fail anyway.

i can just go on and on all day. i think i better stop. im afraid that i might do more damage here. but hey..i must get it out.

check in later

the DRAMA

well..from the last post..u know that i have to stay back yesterday.the drama...MAN~!! it was teribble.i hateeeeee it ok? ok? i cant tell u any clearer than this! lets go from hour to hour ok?

9.30 a.m - arrived at the office..i figured that my M would be at the office in a couple of minutes.

10.30 a.m - the M strolled into the office n gave us choc from London (baik la jugak)

2.30 p.m - still waiting for him to call me to discuss the VERY URGENT matter

3.30 p.m - called me but was distracted and asked for a minute to answer the phone

4.30 p.m - still on the phone

5.30 p.m - still on the phone

6.00 p.m - at last called me

6.01 p.m - suddenly realised that he forgot EVERYTHING about the case.have to look thru the piles and piles of docs.its a mega building project..so imagine the agreements, the JV, the PA, substituted PA...and the list of docs just go on and on...

8.30 p.m - still sorting out the docs...x tgk lagi the statement of claim to draft the defence

9.30 p.m - still..x wat anything.still looking at the docs. baru nak buka statement of claim

10.30 p.m - baru nak crack open the defence..when he found out the draft the lawyer in sabah gave is totally not up to his standards and wants to recast the WHOLE thing. (imagine my shock la at this time)

11.30 p.m - debating wat to do...nothing is done yet to the defence..the clerk is getting restless because u know..problems that i wont state here.

12.00 p.m - suddenly a lightbulb turn on and he said he is only capable to do only 1 paragraph...all the other contents of the defence cannot be helped since he is in a jam.

1.00 a.m - finally finished the 1 paragaraph...

1.10 a.m - went home..i drove back to shah alam alone. Mr. F teman me on the phone the whole way back because i was afraid..u know..its 1 a.m. anything can happen.

Love him to bits..he was so0000 drowsy n super mengantuk...but still teman me all the way home :)

1.30 a.m - reached home..took a shover and slept the whole nite through..only to wake up in the morning remembering that He asked me to come in early to make sure the clerk type the defence and email it to him

so..basically..thats what happen yesterday..im still tired. no mood at all to do work. stressfull..i feel this anger inside me that i cant let out...i hate doing work last minute and hate ..... (cannot say in public heehee) 3 more months lili...3 more months...

plez pray for me..so that i can get thru this.. either i blow up or just give up.. ?

be strong~!! 3 MORE MONTHS~!!!

-Lili-

Friday Madness

yeah..not planning to blog about the title.hehe the title is just for the sake of having a title..since its friday heheh gile lame-o~!!

yupp...friday.the last day of my indepence..as my M is coming back on monday from his lovellyyy vacayyy in london..paris..owh~!! jeles.scotland too~!! and on his daily..yeah DAILY reply to us for the office report, he said that Lili..stand by to work LAtE on monday. yeahhhhhh...suprise..suprise.Hell again. wut? this time he wants me to stay back until 6 plak ke? (note: the last time i stayed back until 3a.m) well..xpe.im gonna blog about my frustrations later on..hehehe cant wait (yeah right :( )

my lil sis is going of to Uni this saturday.. to ALIA : i know ur gonna be strong,successfull and enjoy ur days in UNI.its the highlight baby..hehehe.im sure ur gonna enjoy it as much as i did sayang.. ape2 just call me or the other sister yg duduk dekat2 nu.kene belajar bersusah sikit..be independent ok? u have to learn things the hard way..baru bleh survive when u go out n tempuhi alam pekerjaan. i will pray for ur success and i hope that u will score and achive what u have been working so hard for. i support u :) n remember that kak lili love u soooo MUCh pipi pau~!!

my lil sis..sob...sob..all grown up.. Waaaaaa hehehe gudluck yang~!

my constant companion...chewahhh ie: org slalu teman n masakkan bende2 if lapar at odd hours ie..the best cook..ie: pipi pau

myself..i cant wait to finish chambering..its like another 3 months n counting (for exact date, tgk countdown on ur right) cant wait to earn higher wages arghh..penat dah la asyik kering je.i tell u..rm700 is like..pehh x cukup langsung for a month.x beli ape2 for myself...so, i hope i will get a job somewhere that pays more and dont ask me to stay back...just because...org lain x finish their work Humph~!!

so..up ahead..have to sit for ethics exams next month (congrats nurul for passing~!!) and exemption BM. n have to figure out the other Borangs..when im gonna ave to file em'..so yeah..october..come quick~!!!!! i want to finish chambering aminn :)

just some pictures i want to share..i need these people..if i were'nt for them being here..xtau la ape jd ngan aku ni mase chambering hehehe.the people that is so close to my heart.. love them all :)

my heart and soul..

words dont do justice to describe how much i love her..

then one and only bro..bz bee

vain sister..heheh no la.. ADIK BONGSU KAK LILI (as she always puts it..like i need reminding.love her to bits tho' hehehe)

my ever always photogenic big sister..always looks lovely in photos..in real life..hm...lovely tooo laaa hehehe kind hearted also

enjoy the pics...check in later :)

being the IT illiterate that i am...

waaa..tq to tkah for the award (Miss universe style) gagaga~!

well..being the illerate IT person that i am..i dont know how to link n etc like the instructions given. but fret not~! i will go home n ask my lil sister to do it for me..hheeeEEEee..malu je :P

but still..i want to post the pic heee tq tkah :)

neway..today is my last day doing legal aid..i will miss my days away from the office :( and the people here are all nice people..

i never would have thought my highlight in chambering is going to legal aid. as u all know, im attached to WAO (Women Aid Organization) that has their own shelter right here at the office. so..i get to be close to these battered women and it makes me realize that this world and life is not a bed of roses..

i remembered the first time a women who was abused so teruk came to me for advise. its a plus actually that i know the civil law and syariah..i get to advise them on what is the steps that must be taken for them to protect themselves. i was chased out of the police station. threathened by a parang..phew..i was shaking all the way back..and when i remeber those times, i get chills..i reallly do. but..i like it. i feel that my life has a purpose by helping these people.like..i been wasting my time in law school.. and finally i can really make a difference..rather while im in the office.ironic huh?

so..to those people working in WAO..u guys are really an inspiration to me. and for those who are at the shelter..u are strong and u can go through life being the strong women u are..never give up :)

Support Women y'all~! Say NO to violence against women!!!

They...complete me

yesterday and today was tiring but i feel very happy. this is because of several reasons :-

1. i never dreamed to get DL for my syariah diploma..never in my mind that i could actually score that high and this time around, the result is the best that i've ever had the whole of my life as a student. so..im really happy. i thought that i just get "cukup makan" as i am working n studying at the same time. im proud of myself..and mama n ayah..tq for giving me the opportunity to pursue syariah and giving me the support that i need financially and moraly. i love u guys soooo much..this kejayaan is for u~!

2. my cyg a.k.a Mr.F passed his degree wif a 3.00 pointer.im very proud of him..i always membebel him for not trying hard enough etc etc.plus pressures from both sides of our family so that he can pursue his masters and finally become a lecturer :) im very proud of u syg..u really worked hard and u deserve this..i pray that everything will happen as we plan..december..InsyaAllah :) and i will support u all the way..sampai u pegang that masters and jadi lecturer :)

3. this is just in...Mr.F a.k.a the boyfriend...its OFFICIAL!! he finally got the offer letter for MASTERS.cyggggggg im proud of UuuuuUuuuuuu. Alhamdurillah...Allah have blessed us with so much joy..make sure u reach ur aim ok.. :) im very happy for u!

4. ni saje je tambah..MrF is coming back hereee yeayyyy..dlm mase terdekat.having dinner everyday here we come!! hehehe hakim la untung..asyik mkn kat situ je. :)

but..last but not least..what really makes me happy is the love and support that i get from my family. i could have never been more luckier to have each and every person in my family in my life. been thru wif me thru thick n thin..at my most best and my most worse..they just love me anyways..I LOVE MY FAMILY!!

out of my mind ~~~

really bored at the office.no work to do..been spending a lot of time on the net.the thing is..i know im gonna have to stay back today. the M has yet to come to the office to discuss the witness statement that needed to be discussed for tomorrow.and there is a LOT to do ok? i know i'll be getting annoyed by this evening..s**** really hate staying back.what is the point me coming early in the morning just to wait around for him until he gives me work? x best langsung.at least give me something to occupy me and let we leave by the end of office hour. i have a LIFE ok? i want to go back and spend time wif the family and frens and not spend the whole day wif U!! damn la..im really MAD. thats is one of the factors that i really hate this period in my life. i feel that my time is wasted wif last minutes tasks and jobs. and i really do hate last minute work. how can u perform, how can u deliver your best when u have time against u? what the heck!! that is why we have to start early so that by the time the work is due..it will be perfect. dont u learn that while u are studying or in the course of your practicing years? damnnnn!!

cant wait for this sucky period to end...cant wait for this sucky period to end..cant wait for this sucky period to end..cant wait..

Holidayyy yeayyy

it was great n fun n i think the most memorable holiday yet.many things happen..laugh my heart out and also cried my heart out. for those who knows..knows la..heeheee..

the holiday started on th 3rd of JUne when me n Mr. F hop on the bus and we were off to KB for my cousins wedding.he was being very protective all the way to KB by monitoring how much i drink and eat.my tekak was super kering!!!! but tq syg..i know u meant well. u really did jaga me k? hehehe and the bus was really spacious! cam leatyher seat yg sgt besar.ur bahu x berlaga pun dengan the person next to u.soo..its really comfortable and great journey. arrived in KB around 6 a.m and Mr. F's bro came and pick us up.he drop me off at Kg Sireh and mr.F went home and promised to come by later to see me.

i manage to get a few minutes of sleep as i was sleeping in the bride's room.xcited u know! got ready..and get to meet the cousins uncles n aunties n many more..reconnect balik dengan those yg lame x jumpe..

the next couple of days was hectic and now something is happening in my life. and its happening fast..xtau cne nak catch up..like i cant believe its happening to my.x expect langsung it will happen within this year or next.very unexpected. the things that happened really opened my eyes la..and im still getting use of the idea.now..we must first decide on a date..but..ntah.cant say much for the time being. i hope everything will turn out great..Ya. Allah..berilah petunjuk MU..amin..

all in a days work

last week i got some really good time off as i was on MC on thursday. went to sek15 and mummy bought everyone of us a bottle of designer perfumes :) first time pakai perfumes yg mahal a.k.a designer perfume. before this, yang paling mahal pun pakai Bodyshop je. soo..rase best hehehe

on saturday, my mom gave me some money for me to spend on shoes and bags for my konvocation. mummy..tq very much for everything i love u so so muchhh. get this ok, i FINALLY able to buy my dream bag which i love to bits!! ahhhh love the new purple bag. i want the bag since my birthday last january..but duhh suprise suprise..xade $$$ to buy it.and i was actually betting that i will get that bag by convocation..sooooo after about 6 months waiting finally i got the bag!!! ehehehe happy happyyyy

Mr.F just arrived today and he's waiting for me to fetch him later so that we could spend time together.maybe go out to eat and talk..ntah tgk dulu cne. u know, we are not the kind of couple yang suke merayau.just kluar date to makan and thats all. if kene beli something baru pegi shopping complex etc..

oh ya, my konvocation is tomorrow. no big deal actually..rasa biase je..bleh x? hehehhe ntah hape2 ntah aku ni. ntah..just rase biase. and yesterday i met the dean of our faculty and again she asked me when am i going to join TPM cause she is SOOOooooo sending me to NZ or australia..ntah la..i know susah nak dapat peluang cmni but the circumstances now macam x mengzinkan. i'll think bout it..maybe in 2011 ke bleh kot..but not actually now la. i got this syariah thing that i still have to complete..so..not planning to further frying my brain with moree studying hehhee. nanti org bosan dtg my convo every year heheh gile berlagak! ala..maybe enjoy working life sket..earn a bit of money..help the family to reach our goal of owning a house in shah alam etcc...so..maybe i put on hold dulu the offer for Masters. but who knows kan?? we'll see..

k..check in later. love u mama ayah!! muax muax

But..then again..

well.. last week was hell. came to the office on sunday to work..went home late everyday.the tip of the iceberg was on monday nite where i have to stay back until 2 a.m working on the last witness statement. dont want to go into full details. tiring even to think bout it. but the trial went great.love it.i like the trial part...but the preparation but i DONT LOIKKEEEE! humpppp!

its actually good exposure la..i get to meet lotsa people from the client's side. plus, it's a wut u call dat? megakoprat? whatever heheh..but its a huge corporation wit thousands of employees..so, actually its great and an honour to get to work with these people. soo..all in all, its a good experience. but i rather do it on my own rather than have to wait for the other to complete my work. so i think..when im a full fledge lawyer, i can do things my own way and my own time and no last minute work. because duhhh..i obviously HATE people doing last minute work. if that work does not involve others, then its ok. but if u make your staff wait for you into the wee hours of the night, for me its just plain WRONG la. very unfair and it makes the staff hate u. enough said huh?

this week a bit more relaxing and i took my time to do the works that they gave me. and on the dot 5.30 im outa the office. u know, i tressure the days when we can just dash out and not think about the office until tomorrow..because i know in a few weeks, i'll be staying back again n again..

well, convocation is coming up. not that excited xcept that Mr. F is coming here especiallyyyy for me :) sweet kan? yeah..he kumpul his duit to buy a bus tiket for him to come down to shah alam just to see me to celebrate my convocation. and it looks like luck is with me as mr F will teman me back to KB..yeayyyyy!! HAPPY HAPPY!!

ok..tomorrow im planning to take MC as i dont feel really well today.keep sneezing my brains out and cant concertrate on work :( so..hope today when i go to the doc, i will get MC :) hm..wat more huh?

i guess thats all the update i have..oh ya, i got an increament..but sikit je.benciiiiiii!! arghh breathee lili..4 more months to go then im free from this cheap slave labour thingy!!

k, check in later

Hectic~!

brain damage gile la harini.. hectic!! from early in the morning till now non stop checking documents, research, compiling, check witness statement etc..etc..and all the people out there in the world wonder WHY do lawyers ask for high fees..DUH~!! the amount of work we have to do to get ready for trial is MASSIVE..man!!(ala amanda bynes hahah)

so..slalu org take for granted, we do good professional work for our clients la..so win or lose, we deserve a big paycheck heheeee x gitu? cant wait to practice!!! wah!!

my master came in early this morning looking like a zombie, plus he havent showered..hehehe.after the flight back from KB he went straight to the office to do some stuff for a meeting due today at 2 pm..poor master hehehe..so, all of us are hectico ok!! and he keep saying lili u have to do this...do that..lalalalaaaa...(concertration fading..lalala..)

um..so, Mr. F is in KB right now..i Miss him already.. i cried a bit watching him go yesterday..umph..sedey la..
and i dont know what will happen next..im praying hard that he will get to pursue his masters here and be near me.. :( plz..plzz... come back tau! huUuuuu.

ok..got to finish checking this document.deep in my heart i know that i'll be working late today aiyo!! huUuuu and i wanna go home!! and relax in my own bed nakk sgttt plz!!

k, check in later

um..

um.. Mr. F is going back to KB tonite. i wont promise that i wont cry..im sad that he would not be here to teman me for dinner everyday after work...

i know that i will miss him so terribly.. uhuk..uhuk..

dont know what to write.. owh, been doing major amendments for witness statements for the trial next week..so..a lot more that needs to be processed. tomorrow im sure my workload will increase shoockingly as my master is back from kb and we have to do some 'getting up' work..or whatever they call it.k..excited but scared!! huuuUuuu cygggg..i miss u already!! huhu

k..check in later :)

Out and about

phew..hectic week..well make it month for me. been facing the exams for 3 weeks now and the last KILLER (i might add) paper is yet to come. usul fiqh is this sunday and i baru baca main2 gitu. xla serious sgt..pon..okla...isk!! phycho!! tibe2 takut plak! hahaha

last week, i missed a lot of programs especially family related ones. i feel couped up and i have no contact with human life except for my family and bf hahah (exagerating..i knowww) hahaha

whatever it is..its what i want to do and sacrifices have to be made.so what kan? nak hidup senang kena la ada pengorbanan sikit kan? so..whatever i can give..well take it!! :)

at the office, work is piling up as usual,apart from this High court trial in KB on the 20 n 21 may, i have to attend a divorce matter at the KL syariah court next friday. interesting but still scary.the husband is violent, so we have to ask for the police assistance to keep the wife safe.so..i pray to Allah that everything wiil go according to plan ya? Amin..

also, Mr. F is going away AGAIN..and this time im not sure where's he planning to settle. i pray that he will get the Masters offer..so he can further and pursue his dream of being a lecturer and be near me :) so..im kinda sad on that note..but still xnak pk lagi.sbb he promisd to come for my convocation, so its a plus and i am sooOOooo loking forward to it.

as the readers can see.. i've put up a countdown..on how many more days will i finish my chambering..hahahha letak countdown baru nampak clear sket kannn. soooo..im still counting the days, the minutes and the seconds..its ticking u know..and it just wont go fast enough. but man, to think of it, there's stil a lot for me to do!! arfghhh..have to sit for the ethics test and have to apply for exemption for BM exams.MAN!! gile complicated!! aiyooo...

my mom n dad is going to KB tomorrow for alternative medicine..hurm, as not many people know, i try to keep my feelings bottled up. i dont want to talk bout it. maybe i dont want to face the reality..but hey..i just dont want to talk bout it. hm..i pray that perjalanan mama n ayah will go safely and smoothly.n ayah will get better..amin..

check in later :) :(

pray..

patience..

i pray and hope that Ayah would be fine and strong because i love u sooo much Ayah!

i pray and hope that mama would also be strong n know that i love her so much! and wait a while longer so that i can help out

i pray and hope that my life would be better and i have other good opportunities out there after my chambering

i pray and hope that i would finish my finals with flying colours

i pray and hope that all my siblings would be successful and we would be rich n live happily ever after

but all i can do is pray n hope...

Allah..help me through this..and i pray that at least i get the first two things that i want, because that is what i want the most now.. amin..

another bad day..

yesterday was another bad day for me.. :) nearly cried at the end of it..but decided against it.i slept instead..

the day start off at 5.50 and i had to wake up in order to get to the Bar Council before 8. thinking that i could beat the jam if i went out at 6.30. while i was getting ready it started to rain...so when i went out to my car i was soaking wet. plus, i have to move my sister's car etc..etc...so, in the end i was wet from head to toe and shivering to death!(im exaggerating..cant u tell? but i was soaked la)

then, start off my journey at 6.30 sharp..to my suprise..there were lots and lots of cars!! and it started to 'jam' after the subang jaya tol and i was stuck!! i was kinda freaking out coz if i dont arrive before 8 the bar council people will lock me up and RM150 would just go down the drain...

so..have to go trough the jam and arrived at the lrt station at 7.30 and raced to buy the tickets and i just missed the train. so then i have to wait another couple of minutes to wait for another train to pasar seni..and around 7.50 i arrived at pasar seni station. as i was saying..it was raining preeetyyyy hard in KL.so..i have to dash across pasar seni and walk in alleys in the rain to get to the bar council.i was more soaked and my stokins were wet and i was preety tired because it was a long run from the lrt station to bar council..plus, i was wearing heels to top it off!! arghh!!

arrived at bar council at 7.58 ok? in the nick of time... so.. the day went out ok.while i was sitting down hearing to one of the bar council's modul i realise that one of my shoe straps 'tercabut' malu sgt..what the hell kan? then i just leave it la..nak wat ape, x ade shoe shops pun nearby..
tengah hari..ha..guess what? the other shoe strap tercabut!! waaAAaaaa..my life cant get any worse. so..have to tebalkan muka dan pakai those hideous shoes all around the bar council..

after the modules, went to jalan masjid india, nak cari shoes yg murah2..end up in mydin and choose a pair of slippers for rm9.00. this is what i call unnecessary expenses. dah la i am really short of money right now, the i have to spend my money on unecessary things..and still people condemn me for being 'boros' when i try my very hardest not to. people look at me as stingy etc..but hey..nak wat cne coz i really dont have the money to splurge and buys thing for anyone more so even for myself. i havent gotten anything for myself since i get my first pay..gile kan?

the, went back home and try to find somewhere cheap for me to eat.end up in hakim and by that time i was utterly exausted! need-to-go-home-NOW..so drove back home and at the front door found out that i lost my keys.. GREAT kan? by then..i was nearly in tears..it have been a long day and now i cant even go into my room. suck kan? so..now i have to wait for my sister to come home to open the door for me..and i guess tomorrow i have to make a new set of keys..another unecessary expenses.. im really sad and down now..plus no money..how can i survive till end of this month? NTAH..i DUNNO...pray to Allah that tomorrow onwards, my days will be better..amin

i guess, when u are short of money u will get overly emotional tak tentu pasal.but thats how i feel now.SO, SUE ME!