10 days

last friday, i went for my routine checkup with my gynea and at that time i've just reached my 36 week a.k.a officially 9 months. small talk yada yada yada..then my gynea ask me to lie down untuk scan the baby and see how the baby is doing. before scanning, my doct tekan2 n picit2 perut i. quite painfull sebab now my tummy tend to get really hard and mmg sakit if u poke. i think theres no more room for the baby to grow anymore..mmg dah xpand to the max hohoho.

anywayyyy..talking about my tummy expanding to the max, as you can see in my last post, i told you about my stretch marks and how itchy and sakit it is. i showed my doct my stretch marks and she said ada infection on it!!! the doct said because my tummy is expanding too fast and that cause the infection.. sbb tu my tummy itchy gile and it burnnsssss sampai i xdpt tdo mlm sbb pedih!! i really really suffered and always wonder "betul ke stretch marks camni punya azab? huuuUUuu sedey sgt". alhamdulillah, my doct pagi cream for my tummy so now im feeling a bit better and less itchy. and i tell you, it takes super HUMAN strength to avoid scratching my stretch marks..and sometimes i lose the battle of not scratching..aiyo..i dah tahap pasrah je sekarang.. sigh*.. ok~ no more thinking and complaining about stretch marks~!

ok, back to my story.

after the doct poke poke my tummy, she said to me.. "hm..i give it a week..hm..okla, 10 days max!" i was like "huh?? what...? (very blur)" then she ignores me and start scanning..ok-ok everything ok. baby ok, position ok. alhamdulillah..then she takes my blood pressure. its quite on the high side.. hm..and she commented that both my feet are puffy n bengkak. before seeing my doct, i did my very 1st CTG and it detected mile contraction..so basically im starting to have contractions~! (which i thought the baby was kicking my tummy by the way!)

so she said that due to my BP, im going to be induced on 9th june 2011.. but i can go into labour anytime before that date. i was shocked~! im like 3 weeks away from my EDD and suddenly the doct tells me that im going to have the baby at any time from that day and i have to "serah diri" on the 9th!! this is too fast. both me and my husband was struck dumb and speechless. my gynae also scheduled me for CTG every 3 days until the 9th to monitor my progress..

so..now im trying to prep myself mentally for this.. i just hope everything will be ok and semuanya selamat and i get to deliver my baby safe and healthy..amin..

since i know about being induced, i tried googling about it.macam2 experience org..ada kata lagi sakit, ada kata kurang sakit etc etc etc. but now, i've come to the point that whatever it is i have to face it. whatever the consequences..i have to face it. how painful it will be i have to face it..now, every labour is different and setiap org ada bahagian masing-masing la kan..? so now i can just pray to Allah untuk permudahkan segala urusan dan berikan yang terbaik for me and the baby..InsyaAllah..Amin..

so..thats my update~.. plez pray for me..im quite scared but trying to be strong..been psyching myself since friday and i hope i will go into labour without even have to be induced..amin

Dear Blueberry

Dear baby,

last week was a very sad and eventful week for mommy..

on thursday early morning, i've got a call from your aunty saying that mok cik is very tenat and better go to the hospital now. at that time it was about 5 in the morning. mommy n ayah went straight to the hospital to see her.. she started fading away bit by bit..and at 7.20, she was gone. maybe someday i will tell you and describe what happen at the hospital. it was one of the saddest moments in my life and i still miss her..

she was the person that took care of your atok and she was a great women. all of us loved her very much.. i didnt want to be too sad and traumatized as im afraid that i would effect you in my tummy. so i have to be calm and collected. plus, i was not fit to travel at that time as im 9months pregnant with you..so, i had to say my goodbyes here in shah alam. .

but im sure that shes in a better place right now. i pray for her everyday..she was like a grandma to me and i miss her everyday. i saw her a day before she was gone, she gave me the sweetest smile and telling me that she's just fine and feels alright. i will remember that smile forever..

im just jotting this down so that one day u can read this post and we will have a talk on who was mok cik and who is she to mommy and my family..

Al-Fatihah

stretch MARKS

yup...evil stretch markss..arghhhh~!

the 1st and 2nd trimester i was feeling oh so good because i barely had any stretch marks at all~! really..like totally seriously.so i was feeling preeeety good because my mom had zero, zilch stretch marks when she was pregnant so i was happy that im following her footsteps hohoho..

but then came the 3rd trimester.one night i ask my husband to take a picture of my tummy and thennnnn for all the world can see, stetch marks attacked me overnight. its like on the lower side of my tummy and of course i couldnt see it. i nearly fainted and was so traumatized that my husband had to clam me down.. (hahahaha total drama queen..but i was seriously so shocked!) throughout my pregnancy ive used 3 types of stretch mark cream. for the 1st trimester, i used stretch mark cream from modernmom, then for my 2nd trimester i used bio-oil and i applied it religiously every morning without fail..for my 3rd trimester i used palmers cocoa butter with olive oil extract..but i find that palmers makes me so itchy and pedih that i would skip to apply it sometimes. hm..thats when the pedihness started.it really is painful..i cant believe that stretch marks can be painful but for me it is. even my mom pelik..she said that stretch marks should be itchy and not painful..so i was kinda confuse there for a little while.

since my tummy is getting bigger by the day..when i sit it will be super uncomfortable and the fact that i have stretch marks on my lower tummy x help at all. so..i begged my husband to find me bio oil and i am tossing the palmers cream in the trash! and its so hard not to scratch..huuu..macam nak nangis pon ade because i feel so uncomfortable especially at night. but i am a bit thankfull that only that part of my tummy yang ada stretch marks. other moms sometimes experience stretch marks on their breast, legs and all around their tummy..so..okla..have to calm down a bit and try oh so hard not to scratch!

so..now im just sticking to bio oil and hope that the itchiness will go away.. amin!

entering the big 9

im now in my 35th week and im absolutely nervous~! gahh!!

it will be five weeks more or less to go before i meet my baby..my cute lil blueberry. this journey..coming up to 9 months is very eventful and i would never never ever forget it for the rest of my life. the first time i knew i was pregnant, the bleeding i experience during my second month (it was scary u know~!), the drama here and there involving whoever la, the short babymoon me n fadhliy went (heavenly..with our own private pool~), the realization that i have to cancel my trip to Bali, going through my finals while pregnant and many more events that i will never forget. it has its ups and downs but heck, its been a great journey. 5 weeks is not that far along..so im hoping and praying that everything goes well.. amin.

on the baby stuf part, i started buying lil things here and there when i was about 6 months. and im telling you, baby stuffs is soo soooo expensive~! plus the monthly appointments..expensive too! well, yeah u have the choice of going private of government, but me.. by asking lots of opinions from many people and also my biggest supporter my mom, i opted to do all my checking and insyaAllah deliver in DEMC which is in Shah alam.

last week, i went to the baby fair in midvalley and my mom gave me or rather my baby a beautiful baby cot set. subhanallah..its soo soo beautiful. with the promotion, my mom bought the baby cot which can be transformed into a toddlers bed and also a changing table!! i always wanted a changing table and actually considering buying one at IKEA for rm400 i think? but alhamdulillah..got one from my mom and i love love loveee it to bits! so for now..i think i got the baby stuff s under control. then suddenly i realise that ive been neglecting myself whereby it didnt cross my mind about my confinement period. and that subject been giving me soooooOOooo many headaches!! i mean i dont know what to do suddenly. since my mom is working..its kinda difficult for my mom to look after me..

so i started looking for options and i have the option of going back to my in laws in kelantan..but..gulp, it was never an option to me because i know each and every mommy to be out there would rather stay at our own mommy's then go to the in laws right? i mean nothing against the in laws or whatever..but surely u feel more comfortable with your mom plus, if i were to go to kelantan, i will be going there alone without my husband and that...would be unbearable to me!! but i still have to consider it as my last resort.. because theres no way my in laws would want to come here n jaga me..since she has other responsibilities..so xpela..

i was emotional sometimes thinking about my pantang period.. but finally, after advice from mom and having a long talk with the husband, we decided to that i would have my confinement here..at my mom's! yeayyness! my sisters was against me going to kelantan anyway..so..that settles it. now nak cari tukang urut and everything. stock up on kain batik and loose blouses..haih..banyak bende kene readykan..kadang-kadang i feel so overwhelmed..so many things to buy..so many things to think about..so manyyyy things~~ ahh..

me myself, been feeling so huge (no suprise there!), on my last checkup, the baby is 2.6 kg now!! i was actually honestly quite shocked! because 3 weeks ago, he was only like..1.7 kg..so..dah bam bam lagi anak mama ni hehehe..

been having trouble sleeping, maybe because i cant really gerak gerak sgt because my pelvis akan sakit..its like a very sharp sharp pain that i have to take a deeppp deeeeep breath when it comes. i wake up 2-3 times at night to pee and i will never fail to wake up my husband so he could switch on the lights for me (hehehe~). walking sometimes hurt because i think my tummy is very heavy now, kaki bengkak n pedih.. and yes!! i think i have experience my first painful uterine contraction. it makes u ngilu down there..but alhamdulillah, the contraction i experienced not so bad, can still handle it. now..im trying to take it slow eventhough i usually cant. i get serabut quickly and will start kemas this and that, angkat baju sidai baju bla bla bla..so..my husband been nagging me to stop and take it slow and im tryyyyingggg!!

i pray that everything goes well for me..reaching 35 weeks is..wow..cant believe time flies so fast!! pray for me guys..

to blueberry..mama n ayah love u vary much! be safe! and cant wait to see u..muax muax!

8 months

hey.. yeah i know, been neglecting my blog for so long.ok, after many request to update..i will do so now.heheh pemalas gile kan? yala..im in the middle of my exams, but alhamdulillah, so far so good la. this saturday is my last paper and insyaAllah, if all goes well, i'll be graduating in a months time~!! yeayness!! finally! the i will start my journey as a lecturer and insyaAllah..more moolahh hohoho..cant wait for the more moolah part.

i am now entering my eighth month..wow, cant u believe it? i have about 7 weeks before my EDD..7 weeksss!!! im like, really? so far so good la. apart from the kaki bengkak, back aches and pelvis ache..everything is ok. i feel so heavy now. im waddling rather than walking. i get breathless just by walking to the bathroom... etc etc.

my baby is super active, poking everywhere and gerak sana sini. i can actually know where he is even when he is not moving..heheheh miracle or what? i talk to him a lot now..so that he can recognise my voice. as u cn see, been calling the baby "he". heheh yep..insyaAllah, i am expecting a baby boy :) happy happy...

now, my doct appointments are scheduled every 2 weeks, since im nearing my due date. the last visit was ok. my amniotic fluid is ok, baby doing great. the doct said "lili, your baby is so round! and he looks so mummy" heheh we had a good laugh in the doctor's room that day. because, my lil baby siap boleh tata kat mama and ayah dia with his chubby hands. and his cheeks.. ishh..belom keluar dr perut pon rase nak gigit! really cant wait for the baby to come..

also, my problem with my blood pressure. as stated before, i have no high bp, but i just get soooo nervous bila masuk bilik doct. i dont know, nerves i guess. so that doct said, she wants to monitor my bp..then will decide on my labour. if my bp still elevated and the baby is stressful inside my tummy, i maybe kena induced by my 37th week. if everything is fine..39-40th weeks la i'll be due. but alhamdulillah, on my last visit, my bp is ok..so..alhamdulillah..hope will be ok till my due date..i want my lil blueberry be fully baked!! hehehehe.


on the preparation part, alhamdulillah..i think we got almost everything on the list. stroller put on hold dulu since the baby is not even going to use it awal2 ni.. other things, settled. i think.. hm, we havent actually started packing the hospital bag since im still busy with my exams and my husband is super bz with his viva. but, by next week both of us will be free for one last round to check out baby stuffs and kemas the bilik baby etc etc etc..wow!! overwhelming..nasib baik got my brother n husband to help kemaskan bilik nanti..phew~

so..all in all..ok kot semua. hope all goes well..

my husband been really alert nowdays. a slight mumble from me he will go like "nape syg? u ok?" heheh he actually wants to do a labour drill as in nak try buat mcm fire drill tu. to see brape lama it takes for us to get ready and reach the hospital..just in case!! in a way i think he is wayyyyyy too extreme. however,..cute jugak kan? hehehe i am ever so grateful to have a wonderful husband like him.. :) love u syg ~

so..thats a quick update from me. wish me luck for my exams!!

ps: mummy and ayah love u blueberry!