today is my mom's birthday. we had a simple do last night at mid night to celebrate her birthday... its kinda a family tradition when we all would be gathered together and sing happy birthday and eat yummy treats. heee~~ memang fun spending time with the family. i can never get enough of them u know~!!!
happy birthday mama.. i love u with all my heart. you are the best mom ever~!! i could not ask for me... love u love u love u~~
on another note, im going back to KB this weekend to see my uncle.. so...yeah..im still praying for him..
doakan perjalanan saye.. amin
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
its hard
suddenly i feel really down..
maybe the fact that something that really tears my heart just happened. feeling so left out.. haiyah...
i x expect people to understand my situation. everyone have their own problems right? but i do believe that Allah make me go through all these things to make me stronger and make me hope that there will be a brighter future ahead of me. sometimes i would think to myself...maybe i should go far away n not let others know what i am feeling and what i am going thru at this very moment. because its depressing...its just soo..sad...
how people react when i tell them my condition and etc.. they just brush me off n pretend that i am lying when i am not..well.. i cant paksa people to think what i want kan? thats way beyond me...
all i can do now is just to hold tight and hope that next month or in a couple of months...my condition will be better and i can be the person that i want to be InsyAllah.. being alone and trying to hide it is something very hard to do..but i will try to hang on..
i am not the kind of person that u think i am..in this condition, i am forced to be this way...so..i am sorry if u think that i am burdening others with my problem.. because i really appreciate each helping hand that i can get and thank Allah for giving me these wonderful people..
on a happier note, i had a great catching up session with one of my closest fren in Uni. how i miss her and i hope that everything goes well for her . good luck my dear :)
maybe the fact that something that really tears my heart just happened. feeling so left out.. haiyah...
i x expect people to understand my situation. everyone have their own problems right? but i do believe that Allah make me go through all these things to make me stronger and make me hope that there will be a brighter future ahead of me. sometimes i would think to myself...maybe i should go far away n not let others know what i am feeling and what i am going thru at this very moment. because its depressing...its just soo..sad...
how people react when i tell them my condition and etc.. they just brush me off n pretend that i am lying when i am not..well.. i cant paksa people to think what i want kan? thats way beyond me...
all i can do now is just to hold tight and hope that next month or in a couple of months...my condition will be better and i can be the person that i want to be InsyAllah.. being alone and trying to hide it is something very hard to do..but i will try to hang on..
i am not the kind of person that u think i am..in this condition, i am forced to be this way...so..i am sorry if u think that i am burdening others with my problem.. because i really appreciate each helping hand that i can get and thank Allah for giving me these wonderful people..
on a happier note, i had a great catching up session with one of my closest fren in Uni. how i miss her and i hope that everything goes well for her . good luck my dear :)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Lets PRAY..
its been a really heartbreaking few days for me.. i mean.. my heart feels like there's so much weight that sometimes i feel like i couldn't breathe..
on Saturday after i finished my first part of IELTS exam and after iftar.. my dad receive a heartbreaking news that my uncle very tenat. my uncle is suffering from stage 4 brain cancer and the news we received that he is not gonna make it for long...
rase cam nak tercabut jantung.. i mean i always remember him being the most active during sukaneka on our WCJ family days and he use to be so energetic. to think of him now..it really breaks my heart. to make it worse..i have to attend the second part of my IELTS exam on monday and if i dont attend..i will have to pay over rm600 all over again to take the test..money that i do not have :(
looking at my parents faces...the mood kat rumah become so quiet and somber..everybody is sad to hear the news. my mom quickly ask me to pack her and dad's things to bring to kelantan as they were trying to catch the last flight out to KB. but sadly, we have to buy tickets at the counter for flights due in 24 hours.. so luckly that my other uncle was at the firefly counter and he bought my parents tickets for a flight first thing in the morning.. i packed my parents things with my mind thinking about my uncle.i feel so guilty not being able to go..and i pray for him everyday that he will hold on just a bit longer so that i can go and see him after my IELTS..
today i received a call that my uncle is stable..but the doctor doesn't give him much time.. so..lets PRAY guys... PRAY that my uncle will be strong and hold on because we still need him here.. AMIN :(
on Saturday after i finished my first part of IELTS exam and after iftar.. my dad receive a heartbreaking news that my uncle very tenat. my uncle is suffering from stage 4 brain cancer and the news we received that he is not gonna make it for long...
rase cam nak tercabut jantung.. i mean i always remember him being the most active during sukaneka on our WCJ family days and he use to be so energetic. to think of him now..it really breaks my heart. to make it worse..i have to attend the second part of my IELTS exam on monday and if i dont attend..i will have to pay over rm600 all over again to take the test..money that i do not have :(
looking at my parents faces...the mood kat rumah become so quiet and somber..everybody is sad to hear the news. my mom quickly ask me to pack her and dad's things to bring to kelantan as they were trying to catch the last flight out to KB. but sadly, we have to buy tickets at the counter for flights due in 24 hours.. so luckly that my other uncle was at the firefly counter and he bought my parents tickets for a flight first thing in the morning.. i packed my parents things with my mind thinking about my uncle.i feel so guilty not being able to go..and i pray for him everyday that he will hold on just a bit longer so that i can go and see him after my IELTS..
today i received a call that my uncle is stable..but the doctor doesn't give him much time.. so..lets PRAY guys... PRAY that my uncle will be strong and hold on because we still need him here.. AMIN :(
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