SICK

i am very sick...penat..pening..asyik bersin je..i wanna go home.. :(

Happy Raya Aidiladha.. :)

of...?

today ive been all around town ic shah alam n KL n sunway..n i am now officially dead TIREd OkkKKkkk..

so many things are happening in my life..so many things is backfiring on me. but im still taking it one day at a time. pray that i wont break..some are just too personal to write down n some matters are just a waste of time to think or write about here.but..bottomline is..everything is backfiring.i think im having one of those bad luck month kot? huhuhu

oo yeah, the previous post terpaksa delete sbb kang jd WWII plak.so..better delete it than bagi all the world to know whats happening.comment2 yg x bernas sume kena delete...kan ke blog ni public..haihhh. so..sorry guys, kene delete the post :P

of this and THAT :P

hey guys..

ive nothing to update actually.right now im just hangging around the office during lunch break and browsing thru bride to be blogs and look at all of the preparation etc etc.

truthfully...i dont have a wedding date yet which is...hm..i dunno what to say. cant me n F just pick a date? i mean we want an aim..we want something to look forward to. next year is like..theres 12 months in a year.so..i really really hope n pray that i will get a date soon :(

i havent start planning on anything yet..i read all the bride to be blogs that have their own checklist n all..but i have nothing.i dont have a list...hm..i want to be at least in control n know what my wedding would be like instead of just letting all the other people do it for me..cam x best plak kan? i want to take part in the planning too...

so yeah..just a stupid afternoon ramblings..hm..

lowest point

yeah..yesterday was one of the lowest point in my life. the day before, i was shouted aka kene maki ngan my boss who is a senior assoc here. i was assisting her doing conveyencing...i sucked at it but i tried really hard. i promise to u guys that i did the very best that i can...but since i have zero zilch knowledge (apart from LLB dulu) on convey...a lot of things i dont know. and the boss is very demanding by bombarding me with files every day where i would do and finish n redo if there is a mistake. how would i know land office x terima date yg di cop? i asked..they just say put date.so..yeah..the procedural thing la basically i dont know...but i was learning..so gimme a break n gimme some time to get use to it...its only been just 3 weeks..dont expect me to have everything on the tip of my hands..

but surely, i am very dissapointed in myself...am i that sort of worker? does my work really suck? really? i am really dissapointed in myself and i feel so helpless and useless... :( n very sad..

after being scold by the boss...the partner then 'sound' me by saying that she cannot take very simple and petty mistakes from me.."as a lawyer..bla bla bla..." yup..i know and i will try harder. but it seems like everything i do would just go wrong these days..:( im very unhappy with my career.i dont know where i stand and i dont know how the partners look at me. incompetent? sloopy? a person who makes idiotic mistakes? my image had been badly damaged..the bos shouted at me in front of all the clerks..i was tougue tied..the thing that i did was...salah cop date. it became a big issue bla bla bla...

so..yesterday, the boss ask me to return all her files and i am not going to do any more conveyancing work from now on..sad huh? i am fully doing litigation now.even though i did'nt want to do conveyancing in the first place...i took it as a challenge and a way to gain knowledge as i dont know much about convey..but i totally backfired on me :(

to make matters worse, there is something wrong with my car and the warranty period expires in 2 days and nobody wants to help me to send the car to the service centre.. as i have work n office hours end at 6 plus im a bit tight on the financial side..so i cannot just take a taxi from shah alam to suway to n fro..i actually cried and feel so alone and helpless... after a really bad day at work..my car pulak buat problem.. i cried n cried to let go of my frustrations :(

soo...today i am doing my litigation work..the bos is giving me the cold shoulder by not speaking to me.. the staffs here told me that its a good thing that i stop doing convey as i would surely be so stress as they are feeling now...so..i dont know are they telling me this to make me feel better or just to tell me gently that my work sucked?

also, i got a call from the bar council telling me that i have to file an affidavit pembetulan as there is a spelling mistake in my affidavit...so..can it not get more worse than that?

that is why i am at my lowest point right now...i feel like quitting but i am not a quitter..but the atmosphere..the image as a lawyer have somehow been "tercalar" and i just cant get over it la. its like a silly mistake was taken so seriously that somehow it straight away categorize me as a bad lawyer or bad worker. its not fair...

i have 3 papers this saturday n sunday..not looking forward to that. i hope next week will be better..i want all this sadness and negativity out of me..

pray for me guys..

My Engagement Day

me with FMIL :)

it was the week before that i suddenly got the news that hey..im getting engaged next week. it started with his dad calling my dad asking "why dont these two get engaged terus instead of going to and fro from kelantan to puncak alam for merisik n engagement?" my dad obviously said YES because he absolutely agreed with my FFIL.. so here we go...the hecticness begins.

my family prepared for the merisik 2 weeks before by doing a huge scale spring cleaning where we literally turn the house inside out in order to clean every dust n dirty spots that exist in our house. it took two days...from morning until 4 am on saturday n sunday...n went on until the day of the engagement.my mom actually took the whole week off from work on the week of my engagement.everyday, mom n dad would go out to town to run errands for my engagement while i am stuck at the office. for those of you yang wondering whyYyyyy i am stuck at the office? so happens on monday before my engagement, ive just started working at the new office..so i just cant get away. but everyday, i would be with Fadhliy or mom or anybody to look into things. i was in charge of finding doorgifts..so since im stuck at the office, all i can do is surf the net looking for something cheap and cute for the engagement.

soo..i found this site www.ole-olemanis.blogspot.com that sells cute and nice doorgifts for any occasions. and i called them to place an order on tuesday..so do the math la. i want it by thursday evening..and they are wiiling to work against the clock for me..thanks guys :)

i wanted to apply for leave on friday, but was told by the partners that it is a very bad habit for me to skip work when i have been there barely a week..so i decided against taking leave :( so...i was working on the friday. but at 5.30 sharp, i shoot off home to find that most of my cousins were already there..buzy doing this and that as the night before the engagement, my dad wants to do a solat hajat for tomorrow's event.

after the solat Hajat..everyone came into action. my aunties open their poket doremon hehehe and wip up my hantaran in only about..hm..2 hours? gile teror and it turn out great n beautiful n i love it so much. the choise of colour, turqoise which i insist on turn out beautifully and i love and heart every single thing to the core ok~!!

not forgetting for those yg sponser dulangs..i mean cik awi for the shirts, cik ja for all the accessories for the hantaran. cik ngoh for her beautiful baskets to put the door gifts, abe Di for the men's toiletries, aunty yam for the delicious yummy yummy mango delight secret recipe cake [which he finish the whole cake the same night~!] hani, kak lina, kak lin and all of those yg tak tdo buat my impromptu mini pelamin. it turn out very cute even though kene improvise with everything yang ada dalam umah :)

the next day, early in the morning me n hani rushed to klang to do my make up which is done for free courtesy of kak G who is nice enough to let her staff doll me up using all the free stuffs in her boutiqe hehehe seriously..everybody pitched in~!

well, here are some of the pictures for u guys to enjoy :) penat la nak tulis..panjanggggg..nanti la.if i have the time and idea i will tell u guys the full story moory k?

thanks to each and everybody that helped, who came and who prayed for me and fadhliy. i love u all and only Allah can repay all that u've done.. wish us all the best :)

now...plan for WEDDING...haaa.... :)

the rings..his was bought in Mecca by my mom n dad when they went for Umrah

when they first arrive

ayah n FFIL

the lovely canopy..lawa sgt~!

me..decending the stairs while my aunti whispers.. "Lili, jalan slow2 skit"

ayah sarungkan cincin


the house from outside view..cantik kan? cam garden party

me..with my heart and soul. dont they look cute together?

my LOVE is....

YOUR LOVE IS GREEN

When you love someone, it's a very rational process. You love with your head first.
Love is all about fitting a person into your life. You can't love unless the situation is just right.

You are an ideal partner in romantic relationships. You try to be as caring, loyal, and forgiving as possible.
You take love seriously, and you don't give up on a commitment. You don't need a ring to stay with someone through thick and thin.

i love u syg~!

DElay and UPGRADE~!

today is my second day at the new office. everything is ok..i am so happy here.i mean, the partners n associates trust my work and i am able to work independently and at my own time :) so far so good..i hope i do well here and hope to build a career and future here :) amin..

i am still on probation and my letter of appointment is still not yet ready..so how eh? maybe tomorrow i will find the answers i am seeking.. but i hope and pray everything will be fine :)

STILL... i havent file my long call papers yet. i have a problem with my referee form n confidential report :( so..maybe only next week i can file my papers :( why la the long delayyyyyy..tensi tensi..but anyhows...i hope i can get a date let say 20th november? plz plz i hope and pray to Allah that i can file my papers by monday next week. if x pon by tuesday..hm..hope so :)

so..the GRAND ANNOUNCEMENT ----> i am getting ENGAGED this saturday~!!

yup..yup..its suppose to be just merisik, but then on friday last week, my merisik has been upgraded to engagement..so..apart from the hecticness of new office, i have to plan the sudden engagement. sian my mom n dad..okla..my whole family, they are truly my heart n soul. i am so thankful that they are willing to do everything in their power to make my engagement a successful event :) (suddenly im getting teary eyed~!!) we clean the house aka spring clean and emptied the lower floor (YES~! literally empty) mop sapu etc etc...

x stop berkemas sampai pukul 3 pagi. the whole family pitched in and do their part. i love them sooo much~! from ayah, azrai n nim (eventhough my cute lil baby sister tgh PMR) who started the cleaning around 12 on saturday, i was out buying engagement things with mom and we got back around 6pm..ate ala kadar ie: pasar malam hehehe and terus start kemas balik until about 4 a.m...non stop... i love love love them~! mama yang penat pusing KL dengan i cari barang2 pon terus balik kemas. my big sist who just got back from a 3 day competition also jump in and helped the moment she got home. this is what i call family love..they berpenat lelah just for me.. :)

words just cant do justice of how thankful n how i love my family :) syukur alhamdulillah.. :)

so..my big day is saturday... i know ramai yg buat majlis haritu so i didnt invite a lot of people as i would give priority to friends that are getting married on the same day :) so..wish me luck k guys?

hope everything will turn out ok n great..amin :)

wish me luck~! i will post the pics later..next week maybe when i tukar my status from single to engaged~!! hehehe i love u syg~!

check in later :)