weaning - 1st attempt

2 days ago was my first attempt to wean off adam from breast milk.

i know u will be asking me the "WHY" questions.. well for these past few weeks my B****t hurts because adam tends to bite when he falls asleep while drinking. and by having full set of razor sharp teeth does not help either! it hurtttsssss!!!

also the fact that my milk is not that much anymore..i mean i have stop pumping while at work so the only time for direct feeding is on weekends and also when im home from work. i tried so hard to maintain but well.. i guess its time to wean off. ive been complaining to my husband saying that when i breastfeed it hurts bla bla bla.. so my parents and husband suggest to start weaning him off.

i thought it was easy..

to start off, adam is an easy baby. i mean he's not fussy. he can take formula milk, he can drink from bottles no problem. so im not worry..but i was not really prepared to face what happen 2 nights ago. my mom said that to start to wean off, i must gv adam plain water when he wakes up at night. since adam is turning 20 months this february, he only wakes up once every night for milk. so..i tried giving him plain water..

he refused the water and keep crying and crying and crying...i read some blogs it says that to wean off kena "hati kering sikit" i tried being strong but to look at adam strunggle to find me in the dark for his milk and crying sampai tersedu-sedu really breaks my heart. but i held on... try to soothe him and ask my husband to try to soothe him but adam still wont stop crying.. i think after 40 minutes i crumbled. i gave in and gave him milk..terus senyap!! but still hisap susu sambil tersedu-sedu.. so sad right??

i felt like crying..i feel like a bad mother for trying to stop him from drinking my milk. i was afraid that he would be traumatised and hate me in the morning.. i could not sleep. i hug adam the whole night praying that he would be ok..

the next morning adam woke me up with a smile and hug me and plant kisses on my cheeks. Ya Allah..rasa sangat bersalah. i came to the conclusion that maybe both of us are not ready for this process. adam needs me and hey..its clear that i need him too. a little bite here and there i could endure kot..huu i tryyyyy... 

for now i will slowly give him formula milk for his everyday consumption. he will only get his mama's milk when he wants to sleep.. so step by step la.. yesterday when i try to give him a bottle of formula milk for his nap..he drank about half of the bottle and gave me the bottle and said "tak nak, tak nak" and quickly take position for my milk..hehehe funny.

i hope that when adam turns 2 in 4 months we are both ready to try again... pray for me guys~!