Sleep Sleep SleEEeeePyyyy

this is like my 100th time yawning..my eyes are watery..i think my jaw is dislocated since ive been yawning widely(teruk kan? hehe) i am SO SLeeepyY!~~

um..i think i went to bed early enough, around 11.30, but why am i sleepy? the answer is.. = i am doing research right now. and i cant find the case :( soOoooo..im bored browsing through hundreds of cases. plus, im fasting today...so i guess its connected to my sleepyness *YaWnnNn*

and i am dreading that any time now my M would call me into his office, and i would spend days with him in there non-stop looking at witness statements..over n over n over again..amending..amending n amending..non stop. he asked me to be ready to stay back very late (yeah..remember the last time was 3 a.m?) soo...im NOT looking forward to that.

ok..my ideal way of doing work is.. :-
1. u assign me the work
2. i do it in my own time subject to ur due date and when u want it
3. i hand it to you before the due date
4. you look through and comment n ask me to make amendments
5. i make the amendments
6. we review it together
7. file it n proceed with other work

is'nt that how its suppose to be? instead of me wasting my time preparing a draft where in the end M would recast everything like its the same as if he had done it from scratch. so whats the point in doing drafts?? I HAVE NO IDEA~!!

rather than wasting my time..gimme a chance to learn something and not everything must HAVE to be your way. boleh x? SICK la..seriously.and i am not someone who is paid to "teman" u to do work. u do urs, i do mine. u dont need me in there watching u amending. its boring, its wasting time i feel like precious time is slipping away while i can do other useful things.

and normal people dont work until early hours of the morning. i dont mind staying back..but only up to a certain time. u must consider other people have lives n families n love. everything does not revolves around work. so..i dont mind staying..but only up to 9-10 o clock. later than that.. NO.its not NATURAL. its against human rights!!!! i mean..yeah, there is work to be done...but nothing is soooo important that u cant wait until tomorrow. its effecting the families of the staffs, their relationship with their husbands..cant u see that? its not RIGHT. ITS WRONG! plan ur work and dont wait for the last minute and meddle on other stuff. get to it~!! dont let ur own mistakes tie down the others. its not FAIR~!

ok..this is me when i am frustrated.. so bare with me

i love u sayang~!(this sentence has nothing to do with this post :) )

check in later :P

i wish..

as everybody hm..ok la..as some people know, i LOVE the colour purple. so...for my wedding, i want plum n lavender theme. it looks lovely lovely.simple but beautiful. can i have it syg~!??? so i want to wear songket? i dont know. its not happening tomorrow.hm..but i sure do need my mom n my sisters n cousins to give me their views and stuff :)


on ur side..maybe this colour? can ah? i remember i saw a baju Melayu in PKNS with the exact shade and i instantly thought..hey, Mr F would look so dreamy in this..so u like? well, i do like it a LOT~!! if i dont get this colour for his side of the reception..i settle by using this colour for my engagement :) can do? hehehhe

while waiting for THAT day to come...let me just dream ok? :)

check in later ~~~~ ;)

one week

well..ethics exam dah buat..n i know ive lost at least 5 marks on the adjournment submission part...aiya~!! n Mr. M siap nak discuss about the mistake. ok..for starters, i have no zilch ZERO court exposure. the only time i go to court is in my early chambering, and that is to jumpe Mr murali about my papers n June aritu when Mr M had a hearing in KB HC. um..n i asked Pn J about posponement,MOB, Stand down n JID..yg kluar adjourment pulakkkkk..aduhhhh..stress. i hope i pass...i hope i pass...it would be such a drag to fail.aiyo..plz..dont let me fail. i am finishing in less than 3 months.malas nak g amik lagi~!!

after the ethics exam..went to the lunch..mingled n talk to ad yang baru a few weeks pregnant.wah..happynyeee..happy la dengar org pregnant ni.n she lost weight la..her morning sickness is really bad.but..surely she is happy kan?dapat rezeki drpd Allah...congrats to her n enjoy the nine months to motherhood. for me, mortherhood is so close to my heart.maybe because i love babies? yeha..maybe..ok, next TOPIC plz.heheh nanti get carried away kang susah :P

later that afternoon..go n watch Harry Potter n the Half Blood Prince. yep..cried again watching harry potter.love the movie its soooooo great~!!

on saturday..classess from 8am - 9pm. yep...gile penat..n i tido on and off mase clasess.lapar n everything in between.hehehe TQ Mr F sbb tlg printkan my assignment n belikan nasi lemak as i was hungry like hell~!! tq..he was in so much pain(sakit gigi ultra).. but he helped anyways..baik kan? baikkann??

on sunday..had a second dose of harry potter, but this time with the familiewwww..heheh enjoyed it even tho baru je tgk.(told u i LOVE harry potter) :)

yeah..im rambling..x ade tujuan sebnarnye update ni.just bits n pieces of what ive been doing the past week..so..now to update resume n contact **** fast~! hope dptttt ... amin~!

check in later ~!

it started :)

yeap..it have already started baby~!

im starting to look around..asking people about prospective dot dot dot .... cannot say here lah. i think someone who is not suppose to read my blog is reading it. so.. ShhhHHhhh...for those who knows...knows la

i mean, is it wrong to find better places that really really challenge u instead of draining u every day.makes u feel useless..no exposure. yeah..maybe this is what Allah plans for me now..so that i will in the future get a kick ass tootttttt better that what i have now. hehehehe..ala..bukan susah nak read between the lines.

like my fren sorg ni..she's been chambering all this while n tggl like 3 months to go before dia final call.she quits chambering n masuk judiciary. and i admire that. she knows what she wants and she worked for it.even though she has to go through chambering for a while..she did it to build up her confidence. so now..she there.where she always wanted to be..n im really proud of her :) good luck zue~!!

me? i havent really decided what i want yet...i mean i plan to be an all rounder but i feel very hm..what can u say huh? like..im not using fully my skills n knowledge la.just doing lame things like research bla bla.. not that into doing research la actually..hm.. i dont know what i want to do yet.which part of the law i want to venture into. i find family law both civil n islamic to be very interesting..n i like civil litigation even tho it involves a lot of work... hm..corporate? ok la..because its more into contract n company law..which is ok.so..i dont know yet. i hope..in the new place (which i dont know where YET) i will get to explore and actually find what im really interested in doing and what i am really good at.. :) Amin..

so..the journey begins..as u kan see the ticker..a little more than 2 months im gonna finish chambering..so..better start now rather than menyesal later. so..any of u guys reading..gimme some pointers can ah? nice places? puhlezzzzzz..tq tq

check in later :)

Wedding Bells

Hahahaha caught ur attention didnt i?

not wedding bells for me..but for my frens.WOW~!!! so many are getting married.. cant name them here as no official invitation yet..huhu

but..really happy for all of them.many are getting engaged this year (i hope mine will be this year too..amin) some are getting ready going to jakarta n all. to u guys..when its my turn, gimme pointers on where is the loveliest and cheapest or i can get a bargain of in Bandung or Jakarta.huhuhu~!

but hey..its at this time of our lives where all our frens are getting married and settling down, makes me very happy.cause some couples, i see them going strong each year and finally getting married.. lovely la..

so..im also getting x sabar for mine which..not sure when lagi huhuhu..

But, congrats to all of u yg getting engaged this August (my causin esp), September, October and so on...and getting married this December..i hope that i get to share ur wonderful day with u.happy for u guys :) Pray for mine ~!!

I admit it

ok..i admit it. my heart is not into chambering..i hate chambering to the core and it has definitely effected my work performance, my perspective, my willingness to learn and altogether my spirit..

how could i have let this feeling get a hold of me? i am GUILTY for letting my laziness conquer me and my life. i dont want to bend the rules. i want it straight forward where u dont have a choice but to stay and do work. get it? i hate last minute work but i should have bared it as i am only a chambering student and be prepared to work long hours because it is expected of me..man~!!

what trigger it? the past months i have been ssssoooooo lazy to work.lazy lazy everyday..and today, due to my laziness, i overlooked an audit report that is supposed to be done since APRIL. get it? i've been delaying for more than 3 months. im so bad~! how could i let this happen. when questioned about it i just say..yeah i overlooked it. and the M was not very happy but i am thankful that i was not "marah" by him. he even put the blame on himself. and i thank my lucky stars that the matter is settle out of court and there is no need for a report..im thankful that Allah gave me a chance to redeem myself.

ok..im making a promise to myself that starting from now..be up to date on my work and no more lazinesss..but my heart back into it. another 3 month..ok?

Lili..have strengh..amin

...

no words can describe the way i feel now..

frustrated..angry and every other emotions that goes with it.

how can some people think so shallow and aim so low? dont they want to excel and achieve in life? dont they have goals? at this rate..i dont think anything will happen come end of this year. nothing..zilch~! i dont expect anything to happen though.

its just so stupid. i am brought up in a family where reasons given must be worth it. and not just for the sake of giving reasons. u understand me? for example, u failed ur biology exams. and u just keep failing month after month..and at one point, u said to ur parents that u just cannot do biology anymore. u tried but failed. so..what my parents would say? u can give a million reasons. but u must remember that at the end of the day..its ur life and its ur future.all of it is in ur hands. i scold u because i love u. but if u give up now..its not me who will regret it in the future..its ur life and YOU will regret it.

i always get lectures like that and i realise that YES, what my parents said is true. i mean that i studied all these years is not for my parents. its for me..for my future. the parents only can guide and scold us when we dont get good grades.but at the end of the day..its our life that is effected.ok..i get a D in physics, its my track record is effected..not my mom or dad's. make sense huh?

so..i cannot terima at all when someone just settle for less. yeah..thats Malay thinking. how can u settle for less when u are worth more than that? why take a salary for SPM leavers when u are a degree holder? why?? i just cant digest that.seriously..how can u undermind your own self? HOW?

u must know that ur worth at least something right? and they start looking at me like all i care about is money. a certain extend YES. but there are a millian other reasons why i push for it. i want it for u because u have debts needed to be paid, u need to help ur parents, u want to get a licence, u want to buy a transport, u have to buy food everyday? see? is it not worth it to go for a job that is for u? for ur qualification? is that so hard to see? u have books to buy, assignments to pay for..everything is money.cant u see that? cant u?

why am i the bad guy here? are u so thick headed to not have realized that? why am i thinking all the things that needed to be done with that amount of money? WHY?

and u try to turn the whole problem to me? who is the one that is BROKE? who? is it me? i want u to face reality and ask yourself. u want it or not? if u want it, work for it. not just sit and look while others go ahead of u. if u want something, fight for it, and not just let it go and settle for less. i u want something, u have to be ready to SACRIFICE for it..so that when u have given all u got u know that at the end of the day its worth it. if some people just dont see why i am sad and frustrated because i know u are BETTER than that. u can do MUCH better and can aim higher if u set your mind up to it. dont make a half hearted attempt..if ur attempt is half hearted.. JUST LEAVE IT. no point in trying because u will fail anyway.

i can just go on and on all day. i think i better stop. im afraid that i might do more damage here. but hey..i must get it out.

check in later